Pets as a Proxy

Jan. 28, 2020
As an LEOW, I’m alone. A lot. Thankfully I’ve found a substitute who loves me unconditionally, never tires of me venting about my LEO and loves to hike and run. He also comforts me after I’ve comforted my LEO.

My husband works nights but I don't sleep alone.

No, this isn't the beginning of an infidelity story. It's not going to perpetuate the tales of dysfunctional police relationships. It's really just a funny look at how one LEOW deals with her LEO and his insane love of night shift.

My Vampire in Blue

My LEO has been an officer for over 20 years. In fact, he just had that fifth stripe sewn on amid jokes about how it's a good thing they go on the left sleeve because if it was on the other side he wouldn't be able to lift his arm to pull his gun if necessary. Out of these two decades in patrol, he has spent seventeen of the years on third shift, aka graveyard, aka nights. He doesn't have any intention of changing. His retirement last call will be at 6:30am on a day that is yesterday for him, but today for me and the rest of the light loving world. I will give him this. We live in a city not known for its cool temperatures. In fact, it feels like the surface of the sun for months at a time. So, I can see why he would rather work in the dead of night when the temperature drops down to a chilling 95 degrees.

I, on the other hand, enjoy daytime. I worked second shift for a long time and thirds for a very short period of time. I have to say at this stage of my life, I'd rather get up at 5am and go to bed at 9pm. I want the sunrise to greet my day not end it. What this means for me and my LEO is I'm getting up when he comes home and I'm settling down for bed when he goes to work. It could be worse. Working second shift often just meant we talked through notes left on the counter. So how do I and many of the other LEOWs married to vampire LEOs cope? Enter Mike.

Mike, my Proxy Husband

Even though we have a King-size bed, I still end up clutching the edge most nights. I have to fight to get the blankets to cover my whole body also. I wake up in the middle of the night pulling on the blanket and pushing on a 70 pound hunk of dead weight mashed against me. Mike is my 4 year old lab/basset hound/Aussie rescue. I was living in Oregon when he came onto my radar. I'd never had a dog in my adult life but my youngest son recommended I get one to keep me company because he would be graduating high school soon and was leaving for the Marines. He felt I needed something to entertain me. I guess he believed he had been filling that role. So, I scrolled through local rescue dogs available for adoption. I knew I did not have the time, or the patience for a puppy, but I wanted a dog that was young enough to really bond with me. I also wanted one who could handle the immense amount of outdoors stuff I do, like running and hiking. Mike was perfect. An interesting mix of breeds, he is colored like a basset hound on lab legs with one blue eye and one brown eye. He showed local but I found out that just meant that the shelter would do what they could to get him wherever someone would give him a good home. He actually lived in Oklahoma. It didn't matter. I saw one video and fell in love. He had the energy of a lab. So after a volunteer drove him and another rescue coming to a family in my area to Denver, a volunteer pilot flew him to eastern Oregon. This earth angel volunteers his time, his resources and his plane to fly dogs from high-kill shelters to other areas where they get their second chance. I did my part by driving across the snowy Cascades and collecting him and his travel buddy. It's the best decision and pairing to ever exist, I believe. But what does this have to do with my LEO? I'm glad you asked.

Forever (it feels like) Alone

Aside from the four nights a week I sleep alone, I'm not in the minority when I speak about the overtime, the off-duty, and the funky details that steal my LEO away from home. During that time, Mike entertains me, keeps me busy walking, feeding and cleaning up after him, makes me laugh (he has the most magnificent mushy mouth particularly when he is eating a tortilla chip) and provides physical closeness. In fact, he thinks he is a lap dog and he insists on being smashed up against me no matter where I am sitting or lying. He loves me unconditionally and it shows. He listens without judgment when I vent about my LEO not being around...again. He's always up for an adventure. And, I never sleep alone.

So as an LEOW I highly support having a pet or two or five (we actually also have 2 German Shepherds and 2 black cats). Whatever flavor of pet you want. They don't mind being a proxy for our absent LEO. If they're like mine, they actually prefer it. You should hear him whine when my LEO comes in for a kiss before he goes on duty. You'd think he was killing me and Mike could do nothing but watch. If I'd let him, he would immediately come and lick the kiss away as soon as he was able. Being an LEOW is often lonely and can fill us with worry if we think about certain things. Our animals allow us to feel connected, loved and comforted. I'd love to hear about your pets so please leave me a comment below or send me an email. Until next time, keep loving on your LEO and using your pet as a proxy.

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