As a police wife no holiday or day in general is “normal”. We have a normal that differs from most people and professions. First of all, law enforcement is never off duty. Second of all, most departments are short staffed so hoping your spouse may get that special holiday off is almost never going to happen.
However, there is another way to look at being alone on those holidays that you wish your other half was there with you. You may not get to spend the exact date with your man but that doesn’t mean you don’t get to celebrate those holidays and make memories. My husband works swings (midday into the night) or graves (night shift) all year. The majority of the time he is not off for the special occasions unless it is well planned (and he can get time off) in advance. We make our holidays extra special. They may not be on the traditional day but we take time out to plan something fun another day that week.
Instead of being down that you may be alone on Valentine’s Day know these things. 1) Your spouse has one of the most important jobs in the world. That fact alone should make you proud to be his wife. 2) Your spouse doesn’t want to miss those special moments either. It is just as hard on them as it is on you. 3) The point of all holidays is to spend time with those you love. That said, if it has to be a different day than most celebrate it, it really doesn’t matter. In fact, it makes your celebration that much more unique.
Dealing with Feelings of Loneliness
It is only natural to feel lonely sometimes as a police wife. Your schedule isn’t like anyone else, especially if you work at home or stay at home and your schedule mimics your spouses. Chances are you spend a lot of time at home. Don’t be discouraged though. Take time to make plans that will help take your mind off of the loneliness. Have a friend or family member over or occupy your time with a hobby. Your spouse goes through the same feelings at times even at work. Keep in touch with your spouse-as much as they can while on duty of course.
Valentine’s Day originated from strong men sacrificing their own lives for others. Your spouse does that every day at work. Be proud he has that honor not disappointed life is a little different.
Holidays may be unique but that doesn’t make them any less special. Remember, your spouse is on the street, protecting your city, and there is no greater responsibility. Be proud of your man and enjoy those extra special “holidays” together.
Hilary Rodela
Hilary Rodela is currently a Surveillance Officer, a former Private Investigator, a former Crime Scene Investigator, and Evidence Technician. She worked for the Ruidoso (NM) Police Department as well as the Lubbock (TX) Police Department. She has written for several public safety publications and has extensive law enforcement and forensic training and is pursuing forensic expertise in various disciplines. Hilary is a freelance public safety writer and curriculum developer for the National Investigative Training Academy.
