In our last article, Outrage and the Embattled Cop, we looked at how the present epidemic of widespread contempt aimed at law enforcement, growing public distrust of police officers and the institutions we represent, and (often poorly considered and highly politicized) responses by police administrators and politicians are inciting outrage among the rank-and-file. Where this has predictably led, especially as not only calls for general police reform have risen but also hasty responses from those who dictate law and policy, is a sense of concern, fear, and even outrage on the part of the law enforcement community. In essence, we are meeting outrage with outrage.
We also looked at why this is potentially very bad for us, as a community and individually, and the threats outrage poses to our emotional well-being. Anger – even well-deserved outrage – can serve a valuable purpose when it spurs us to action and leads to positive change, whatever that may be. Knowing how to harness its power is a skillset many lack but that is within each person’s power to learn. Here, we will present several suggestions to help manage the outrage that so many of us find bubbling just beneath the surface as we confront the harsh political climate facing law enforcement.
Focus on what is right with the world, instead of only what is wrong
It is very easy to allow what we see the most of to become what we see almost exclusively, blocking out that which doesn’t meet our expectations and understanding. This is actually a function of memory formation; experiences attached to intense emotions are most easily remembered, and in greatest detail, and being exposed to an onslaught of media painting policing and officers in a negative light are nothing if not emotionally provocative. Eventually the collection of negative memories distract us from noticing the positive that goes on around us.
The trick is to make a determined effort to look for and see what is right: a wave, smile, or greeting from an appreciative citizen you may not even know; the grateful thanks received when you help someone; offers to buy you coffee or lunch that a lot of officers report people are making (I’ve gotten more of these than I can count in recent months as our normally quiet majority supporters react to police critics. I graciously decline while thanking them for the thought, but still…). There are countless examples that are easily lost in the noise. While it is easier to form lasting memories around emotional events, it is possible to deliberately decide to form them from observation. It just takes effort.
Self-impose limits on your exposure to outrage-inducing news
Most of today’s outrage seems propelled largely by the proliferation of unrelenting news programming that constantly rehash and dissect a limited number of hot button – and often contentious – topics, the matching rise of “talking heads” who capitalize on the public’s hunger and polarization, and social media’s power and reach to fan angry flames. Information is power and awareness key to an informed and engaged public, but when so much is so available it quickly overwhelms our capacity to maintain perspective and calm.
If you find your own emotions fueled by the constant news cycle and multiple streams of “look what they’re saying about us now” threads and comments on social media, consider disconnecting a little. I recently had to do this.
Somehow, and without even really trying, my Facebook feed became filled with one police group and news site after another. I must have “liked” most of them, and was included in others by proxy as the shares of friends – and friends of friends – in law enforcement passed through my news feed. All well and good and, as a police writer, they gave plenty of future writing ideas. But on most the tone turned dark pretty quickly as the latest editorials and news stories about and against alleged police misconduct took center stage. These led to increasingly angry responses by the LEOs in attendance, which, of course, only provoked more such contributions to the feed to ensure we were all properly pissed off more or less constantly. Despite how much fun this all was, I finally had enough and reclaimed my page by blocking or unfollowing nearly anything police-related unless I choose to go looking for it.
I am much happier now without being ignorant, as I just go looking for police news when I decide I want it, while keeping my social media mainly social.
Find ways to productively respond with respect and reason
When confronted, our impulse is to push back, and sometimes harshly. The problem is that a sharp rebuke, no matter how viscerally good it might feel, is rarely as pithy and withering as we like to think. Anger weakens reason and what we think clever rarely impresses.
Whether in person or through the written word, a carefully considered, well-presented, and calmly delivered response carries the day. Facts trump emotions for those who matter, so become familiar with them. Reflective questions respectfully asked (That’s an interesting perspective you have; can you explain how you’ve come by it and have you considered this?) force your adversary to either respond in kind and with openness or demonstrate exactly why they aren’t to be taken seriously. Offering respect and demonstrating curiosity about why someone feels the way they do immediately undermines most detractors understanding of “how cops are,” humanizes us, and opens the lines of productive communication.
Use rational detachment to regroup and reenergize
Althea and I met working in a residential treatment center for behavior disordered teens over 25 years ago. The hours were long and irregular, the work difficult and dangerous, and most of us working there young and flying by the seat of our pants. It was a job that was both all-consuming and emotionally exhausting. Something that was stressed to all of us, and has stuck all these years later, was the need to rationally detach from the job in order to preserve our own sanity and balance.
To rationally detach means to get away from the job and identity to nurture other interests and aspects of one’s personality in a healthy way. When a job becomes more than what we do, but who we are (as being a cop can do), the identity it provides easily becomes everything. When things don’t go well at work – when that identity is demeaned, for instance – the sense of embattlement easily overwhelms our ability to cope. Step back to protect yourself.
Practice empathy for those who criticize us
This might be the most difficult thing to do when confronted with hostility for wearing a badge. It is also the most important.
Hearing fellow officers unjustly criticized for what they’ve done or not done, especially when I can objectively say I would do the same or understand and support their rationales is painful. Having doubt cast on my own motives and character because of highly publicized and legitimately bad behavior by other cops hurts. Knowing there are children taught to fear and despise my uniform, profession, and the authority I represent, and that fear and loathing will likely be generationally entrenched as it is passed on, makes me want to lash out at those who blindly perpetuate it.
Instead, I try to practice empathy.
Because I’ve seen fellow officers treat people with scorn and contempt when kindness would fit, and remember times my own words and arrogance let me down. Because I’ve known of colleagues willing to stretch the boundaries of the law, policy, and constitutional guidelines in the pursuit of making a comparatively inconsequential case (and just where is the line that ever justifies it in the big picture, really). And because I’ve seen some of the same videos that have led to the current state and shake my head, thinking, “No… that just wasn’t right.”
Only by trying to empathize with our accusers can we begin to understand from where they come and, when their concerns and anger might be have some validity, better represent ourselves and the law enforcement profession.
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Anger can fuel change and challenge injustice but, when it becomes too constant and starts burning out of control, it can do more harm than even that which prompts it. Learn when and how to step back and protect yourself from becoming a victim.
