One of the most common questions I hear about being a police telecommunications operator is, How do you deal with all those difficult people? I never really thought about it because of the shear percentage of the people who call being difficult. Once I sorted through the handful of calls I had received from truly, charming and happy people, I categorized those who were the difficult of the difficult people. After all, most people who call the police are having a bad day - many a very, very bad day.
In the revised APCO Project 33 Minimum Standards, Section 9.7 is titled High Risk/ Crisis Intervention/Difficult Callers. As a professional working in a public safety capacity, operators must be able to handle callers who are rude, disrespectful and generally not helpful. As Project 33 Section 9.4 implies: We must be able to control the conversation. Along with this, we must control our responses. How do you control your responses so that you can collect the information you need to keep the officers and caller safe? Borrowing from Think Simple Now: A Blog on Creativity, Productivity, and Happiness I looked at the seven reasons given in "Dealing with Difficult People" and adapted them to fit the work we do.
Hurting Ourselves
When we react to negativity, we are disturbing our inner space and mentally creating pain within ourselves. Once the caller hangs up to talk to the "real" first responders, the call taker usually fades from their minds. Regardless of whether they were rude or belittling, the caller moves on to dealing with their problem. The call taker, on the other hand, can sit and stew about what they were told; how they were treated, and about all that does is upset them. Letting go and reminding yourself not to take what callers say personally will allow you not to react like a human animal. You were not being attacked. It was just the lashing out of a person having a bad day.
It's Not About You, It's About Them
When people initiate negativity, it is a reflection of their inner state expressed externally and you just happen to be in front of that expression. Again, it's not personal. Something traumatic has occurred in the life of the caller. Whether or not it seems as serious as the other calls to you, remember this has happened to this caller. You realize the burglary from vehicle that occurred over the weekend isn't as bad as the drive-by shooting with children injured, but your burglary victim doesn't. All they know is they have been victimized. The caller's ability to deal with crisis gets played out on the phone with you. It's about them not you.
Battle of the Ego
Have you noticed that when we fight back, it feels really satisfying in our heads? Police communications is not the place to show egos. We all have them in varying degrees but getting into a clash with a caller doesn't benefit anyone and you will be the one who ends up with the complaint. If the caller adamantly refuses to cooperate, take what information you can and assist however you are able within policy. Just remember, you can't force someone to answer your questions. A battle makes the call unproductive and there are other calls probably waiting to be handled. Move on.
Anger Feeds Anger. Negativity Feeds Negativity
Rarely can any good come out of reacting against someone who is in a negative state. This again couldn't be more true for an emergency communications operator. I recall a few times I tried to "force" my difficult caller to cooperate with authority via my stern voice. Rarely did it work. If I let it, the call would have ended up a screaming match with both of us talking at once, no one being heard and a police situation going unhandled. As a professional, I needed to learn anger and negativity could not be the response to anger and negativity. I was astonished at the benefit of a quieter tone and a silence to overcome a difficult caller.
Waste of Energy
Where attention goes, energy flows. Emergency communications can be draining by itself. The constant hyper-vigilance with little physical release creates a suction for our energy. Due to mandatory over time, shift scheduling and poor wellness habits, many of us have little energy to give to difficult callers. Remind yourself the call is not personal, allow yourself to physically relax when you feel tense (Drop those shoulders. They don't belong up by your ears) and letting the negativity go without stealing any of your precious energy.
Negativity Spreads When we are in a negative state or holding a grudge against someone, we don't feel very good. The negativity spreads through the communication center. Conversations flow about that nasty person you talked to and now the other operator feels the negativity as well. There were days where the negative energy flow dominated the air in my center. All of our responses to callers, officers and other operators reflected this negative atmosphere. Then we carried it home and spread it around to our families. Not a healthy way to live and work. Positive energy goes a lot further in making life seem worth living and emergency communications worth doing.
Freedom of Speech
Some people may have a less than eloquent way of expressing themselves - it may even be offensive, but they are still entitled to do so. Most departments have policies which establish a point when a call can be disconnected, but often this is at a point most conversations would be considered inappropriate, vulgar or rude. Most agencies ask in their hiring packets some form of the question, Can you deal with having someone call you names or use profane language? During times of crisis, people often revert to a less than polite, eloquent way of speaking. If you can continue helping the person, do so. If the call can and needs to be discontinued, do so. Either way, you cannot control how a caller expresses themselves, so trying is fruitless.
Emergency communications can be a daunting task. The people calling in are having one of the worst days of their lives. Many do not express themselves well when they are feeling out of control. As communications operators, we can not control how a person will respond to us. We can only control our responses to them. Even if they are the most difficult person in the world, an understanding of why we should control our responses will make us feel better physically and perform better professionally.
