Chaplain's Column: Unemployment

A family was on their way home from their cabin. They found a baby Bobcat playing in the middle of a dirt road. The mother lay dead in the ditch. He seemed to be an orphan, so they decided to take him home. At first, the wild kitten hissed, snarled, scratched and bit, but after a bit of soft talking, and petting, he finally settled down.

The Bobcat grew. He seemed to accept the family's affection. At first, he was playful and fun to watch. They even trained him to walk on a leash. They would take him to the lake, where he loved to play at the edge of the water on the beach.

The average male Bobcat can reach 30 pounds, and is capable of bringing down an animal 8 times its own weight. The cat got bigger, and was much harder to control. When he ate, he would growl and hiss. He got so ferocious they had to lock him in the bathroom to feed him. Once, they accidentally opened the door before he finished eating. The big cat went crazy. They almost weren't able to get the door closed again. The family was shocked! He grew much bigger and wilder than they ever imagined. Finally one day, he attacked a neighbor kid who was teasing him. The boy was lucky to only get a nasty scratch. After that, they gave him to a zoo.

Today's economy has lead to many problems. Many people are unemployed, losing their homes, and some are getting desperate. Law enforcement was once one of those careers that seemed to be recession proof, but now many law enforcement officers are losing their jobs. I have recently worked with many officers who have been unexpectedly laid off.

It's not easy losing your job. It is especially hard when you feel like you are doing a job that you were "called" to do. Many people talk about feeling shocked when it happens to them. It can feel like someone pulled the rug out from under you, and it may take a while to regain a sense of balance.

Don't lose heart. Things may be difficult, but you can and will overcome. If you have been around for awhile, you will recognize that everyone goes through good times and bad times. Eventually, things always seem to have a way of working out.

That doesn't mean, if you are laid off, that you should do nothing. There are many good articles available about how to find another job. Most of them mention a couple of things. First, most jobs are never listed in the "help wanted" adds. By networking with other people you will more likely find employment that is not published. Secondly, look for work like you are working a job. Make a plan, and then work at finding employment every day. I would add, getting another position may take a while. Make sure you have a budget, and stick to it. Don't spend your severance on big purchases. Make what money you have last for the long haul.

This article is not meant to talk about how to find another job, but how to deal with what is happening emotionally. It's difficult to lose a job, and often it feels like a personal attack. Men especially find much of their sense of well being, their value, and importance in their job.

SARA is an easy to remember acronym that describes what a typical person experiences after losing a job. It stands for, "Sorrow, Anger, Remorse, and Acceptance". Most people will experience each of these stages, and most often in order. It is also common for a person to bounce around through these stages, feeling anger, then sorrow; or remorse, then more anger, etc. Sorrow is associated with the loss. It hurts to lose something you care about.

Anger is a normal reaction. Most officers have a sense of justice. It may feel unjust that you lost your job. You may think a lot about why this happened to you.

Remorse is feeling bad for the things we said or did while we were angry.

Acceptance comes when we realize that nothing we do will bring back the past. We realize it is time to move on.

SARA is not only common for a person to feel after losing a job, it is normal. If you hate your job, you may not experience this at all, but rather have a sense of relief. Most people will, however, experience varying levels of emotion.

The wild bobcat shocked everyone how feral it could be. It seemed to change overnight from a cute pet to a ferocious wild animal. Losing a job seems to feel a lot the same way. For a while, it feels like life is out of control. It is hard to believe. After a while, life goes on, and things get easier. I speak from experience, as I recently received my termination notice. I can relate to those of you who also recently lost your job.

Recognize there are stages to go through. Don't let feeling bad keep you from taking the steps you need in order to get another job. Keep up your exercise program. This will help burn off stress, and improve your mood. Watch your diet, and don't eat a lot of fattening, or greasy food as this will add to your stress (not to mention your waistline).

Don't isolate yourself. Networking is a great way to find a job. But talking about the sense of loss, and getting some tips from someone you trust can also be very helpful. Your Chaplain is a great resource. This is probably a time when you need to talk to your department Chaplain more than ever before. The Chaplain may also be a great resource for referrals.

Finally, don't lose hope. Be assured, things will get better. You're not alone. A lot of people are enduring hard times right now, so hang in there.