One of the best things seen on the internet lately was a meme that asked, “What’s the difference between ignorance and apathy?” The answer to which was, “Don’t know. Don’t’ care.”
“I don’t care.” It’s not a statement that we like to hear if something is happening in our lives that we need some support for. We need to know people do care and are supportive. If they don’t, then it adds to our stress. On the other hand, if you subscribe to the Serenity Prayer theory, then “I don’t care,” can be incredibly empowering. Let’s take a look at both sides of the coin and how “I don’t care,” can be very wrong when it’s inappropriate, and very strong when used correctly.
To examine the first potential circumstance:
Imagine that you’re having a pretty bad day. Maybe you’ve lost your job. Maybe you’ve had more work dumped on you than you can reasonably complete in the given time frame. Maybe you’re not feeling well, injured, sick, or facing some chronic health challenge. Whatever the circumstances, it’s being one of the worst days you can remember experiencing.
Around you are friends and family members; folks you trust and count on to be supportive when you need them. If, under those circumstances, one of those people says, “I don’t care,” or behaves in such a manner as to display their lack of concern, it’s pretty hard to hear and only makes your day worse. It only makes your day harder. If you’re that friend or family member that is expressing that lack of care… that “I don’t care,” attitude, it’s just wrong. I think we all agree.
To examine the second potential circumstance:
Now go back to imagining that really bad day you’re having. The “bad day” is due to about ten things that have all gone wrong at once. A few of the things were your fault, your responsibility. Say that’s three of the ten. You made mistakes or you dropped the ball… but you can’t change any of them. You simply have to let them go and take whatever action is necessary to recover from them. If nothing can be done, nothing can be done. About those three things, you have to just say, “I don’t care.” You have to have the strength to simply let them go.
Now another three or four of those ten things aren’t under your control and they’re not mistakes you made. They are circumstances created by other people who impact your day. You simply have to deal with those things… and the easiest way is to simply adapt your plan to them, but beyond that think, “I don’t care.” Stressing things you can’t control won’t make your day any better.
In the instances described in those last two paragraphs, “I don’t care,” is a strong and reasonable reaction. But… now let’s address those last three or four circumstances that you CAN control. To make your day better, you have to change those circumstances; you have to take the actions necessary to correct or modify them in a positive fashion. When you have that power and responsibility, then saying, “I don’t care,” is wrong; perhaps even more wrong than when someone else says it. Why? Because when YOU have the power to improve your own day and circumstances and you choose not to, then you are choosing to remain in a negative situation – and there’s no good reason for that.
So… as the title says, “I don’t care” (indifference) is both wrong and strong – it just depends on the specific set of circumstances.
Lt. Frank Borelli (ret), Editorial Director | Editorial Director
Lt. Frank Borelli is the Editorial Director for the Officer Media Group. Frank brings 20+ years of writing and editing experience in addition to 40 years of law enforcement operations, administration and training experience to the team.
Frank has had numerous books published which are available on Amazon.com, BarnesAndNoble.com, and other major retail outlets.
If you have any comments or questions, you can contact him via email at [email protected].
