Maintaining Empathy, Maintaining Strength

In our last article (Is Empathy Dangerous for Cops? – November 21) we considered new evidence that police officers with more empathy and less traditionally conservative attitudes may be at risk of greater psychological harm. Of concern is that empathy, understanding, and connection with the communities being served seems to increase law enforcement's effectiveness and broaden its reach, reduce the likelihood of alleged and actual officer misconduct, and reduce citizen complaints. The very traits that can improve how cops respond and work with the community may do harm to the officers who possess them. So how do we protect the protectors, without robbing the profession of diversity and communities of cops who really do care?

Policing requires mental and emotional toughness, but it is essential we don't mistake toughness for rigidity. In fact, the key to protecting the protectors may lie in increasing their resilience and ability to flow through the frustrations that challenge and attack their natural empathy.  

BUILDING AND MAINTAINING RESILIENCE

As we've written before, and in referencing University of Pennsylvania psychologist Dr. Martin Seligman, resilient people possess certain characteristics. They tend to view setbacks as temporary, do not see themselves defined by their failures but rather understand and welcome them as opportunities to learn, grow, and recalibrate, and hold onto a realistic and healthy perspective that does not overly generalize or draw broad negative conclusions from specific events. Like everyone else, resilient people experience setbacks, disappointments, and failures along with all the attendant anger, frustration, and occasional depression (in some cases the symptoms of PTSD are even experienced). What is different is how quick they are to reframe their bad experiences, flow through the attendant emotions, and devise a forward path without becoming stuck in either hopelessness or helplessness.  

So, to counter any risks faced by the more empathic officers (whose value to the profession and their communities we cannot overstate) we turn to our basic formula for increasing resilience:

Focus on finding, building, and maintaining HEALTHY relationships

The quality and strength of one's relationships will always be one of the greatest predictors of their emotional and psychological health, and essential to maintaining resilience in the face of an often frustrating and even hostile world. This holds true even when other factors that can otherwise negatively impact happiness and mental health are present, showing just how important our connections with others are and how important it is to hold and value them. Law enforcement can be hard on family and friends and leave cops feeling disconnected. We must protect family and friendship bonds and make sure our closest relationships include those who are outside the world of law enforcement to avoid losing sight of outside points-of-view and perspectives. Allowing our prejudices and fears to be challenged directly and indirectly strengthens us intellectually and emotionally.  

Seeking out people of varied backgrounds and beliefs expands your social circle and might even allow you to form closer relationships with those with whom you might even butt heads occasionally. Not only can you will begin to see the world with a fresh perspective, those perspectives that most challenge or frustrate you can be experienced with empathy instead of as a threat; remember, even hard ideas feel less dangerous when they come from a friend and can be examined and chewed on at without animosity. Physically and cognitively stepping outside the police world and into another freshens the perspective and energy you will bring to the job.

Challenge your own assumptions and perspectives, with openness to change

Allow yourself, your assumptions, and your perspectives to be challenged and tested. Train your brain to look for and test other perspectives about why things happen and their meaning, and examine how it affects you emotionally. Herein lies the heart of cognitive-behavioral therapy that so many of us in world of modern mental health rely on to treat depression, anxiety, and other disorders with great success.  

Informed by our own (often limited or skewed) experience and a built-in overconfidence in our own ability to correctly judge and understand others, we often rely on our gut to understand why something happened or the drives of others, while losing sight of the possibility we may not be as informed or clever as we like to think. Try a bit of self-skepticism instead. Doubt your own conclusions, beliefs, and understandings without abandoning them entirely (you might be right, after all!) because skepticism forces you to step back and consider different perspectives. This leads to both growth and humility.

And never lose sight of the fact that your loudest critics may not – and probably don't – represent a broad opinion of law enforcement in general, or you in particular; Volume alone doesn't tell the whole story, and often substitutes for substance.  

Take care of your physical health

Don't underestimate the mind-body connection, and how closely integrated physical and emotional health can be. Taking care of yourself physically by exercising, minding your health, eating well, and getting proper rest has proven psychological benefits, with some forms of exercise – running and yoga, in particular – having positive correlation with brain health and neurogenesis. Know that when emotional resilience dips we tend to neglect other areas of health, so making a determined effort to protect physical health even when you really don't feel like it helps maintain dominance over the slow slide into poor health and loss of fitness that strikes so many of us. Good physical health and rest are important to meet challenges with resilience.

Seriously consider our adage to "Be More Than a Cop"

As we've written previously, "...the job, at times (but obviously not always) will bring you down, disappoint you, twist your perspective, and break your heart. Have other identities you can draw strength from, find success in, and grow your resilience. Being diverse is one of the best ways you can stay resilient."

When the job becomes you, and you the job, your identity has been narrowed and compromised. Criticism of the profession becomes intensely personal, and the helplessness inherent in watching events from afar can be crushing. Maintaining an identity that both highlights and integrates multiple facets of your personality creates a psychological buffer that can both protect your empathic nature... and protect you from its potential dangers.