Effective Communication Is More Than Just Talk

Often, in the performance of my duties, I must deal with people who don't want to listen to me, or if they do listen, they ignore what I'm saying. Perceived time constraints, training and bravado don't permit the expense of added time to explain things in depth to these uncooperative folks, so other alternatives are found: raised voices, threatening glares, acts of control and maybe arrest. Sometimes I think those arrests are caused as much by frustration as by the commission of a crime. Some of those officers wouldn't have arrested the subject, "if the guy had just cooperated." Problems can arise, however, anytime a subject is arrested. The moment of arrest is one of the highest risk times police officers experience, and if unnecessary arrests can be avoided, it saves our officers from the attached unnecessary risk.

Communication, as we all know, but sometimes forget, takes two people, and involves an exchange. That exchange is not simply the giving and obeying of an order, although it can be. Communication, in all its complexities involves talking, listening, understanding, observing body and facial language, and then interpreting all that input together. I can hear some of you thinking, "I don't have time for all that." Truth be told, you don't have time to ignore it.

A part of our community, the public we serve today, perceives us as a different species, race or gender. Many police officers perceive the world in terms of "us" and "them". How easy it is to forget that we, the "us", are only "them" doing a job which dictates a uniform, thereby making "us" more easily recognizable, but also set apart. All of us, the human race, deserve a minimum level of respect and courtesy. In our profession, we should be drawing the line on the end of respect and courtesy where it infringes on our safety or that of the community. Unfortunately, sometimes the line that ends respect and courtesy is our convenience, or our patience, or the number of calls for service that are on hold in our area of responsibility.

I cannot begin to count the number of times I have been involved in situations which could have escalated into potentially violent arrest situations. Thankfully, most of those situations can be de-escalated through simple respectful communication. Sure, there are those people who are verbally combative and when they are physically resistant or combative, respect is tossed out the window. However, in my experience, they are the exception, not the rule.

So, how do we improve our communication with the public we encounter? Here are a couple simple rules, but in addition to them, as I'll discuss below, training in "Verbal Judo" may be the best way to prepare yourself for verbally combative subjects.

Rule 1: Remember that how "they" perceive this interaction with the police is completely different from yours. You may stop and frisk someone daily. You may justifiably draw your gun two or three times per shift if you work in a rough neighborhood. How many times has this citizen been frisked or gun-faced? So often they feel persecuted? Or so infrequently that they are traumatized? Either way, they do not feel your sense of control and focus. They are either angry, or scared, or some mixture thereof.

Rule 2: Remember that "they" don't know what you know. You know your intentions, plan of action, etc. They don't. If they seem uncooperative, is it because they are? Or do they not know something you wrongly assume they do? The biggest example I can think of for this is people who get offended at being told to take their hands out of their pockets. Every cop I know assumes people understand why and will cooperate. A great many people have never thought of hidden hands as dangerous and don't understand this stupid (from their point of view) request.

Rule 3: Especially in today's multi-cultural society, "they" may not even speak your language. Be aware of this possibility and act accordingly.

Rule 4: People who suffer from certain medical disorders may be experiencing seizures so mild that there are no obvious symptoms. They may appear to see and hear you, when they don't even know you are there. Attempting to take physical control of someone suffering in this manner may be unnecessarily violent and certainly dangerous to both of you. An example of this is a call I once received for a man who was diabetic and unresponsive. The dispatcher and the man's wife didn't tell myself, or my partner, the man was diabetic. We initially thought he was just ignoring us, especially since he was looking right at us and moving around, seemingly in response to our questions and commands. He just wasn't being compliant. Questions to his wife finally revealed that he was diabetic, had taken his insulin that morning, but then had not eaten all day. A glass of heavily sugared tea brought him around and he started acting normal.

Rule 5: If "they" have genuinely done nothing to precipitate police contact, they may not understand, and may be offended or upset by, your interruption of their day. Wouldn't we all be? I certainly wouldn't understand the police officer pointing his gun at me when I'd done nothing against the law and was just walking along with my wife.

Those are five simple examples of a difference between the perceptions we as police officers have versus those of the public; or they are circumstances that might hinder effective communication. As we serve our communities, it is part of our duties to ensure fair and proper treatment of people as we deal with them. Often, making sure all people are treated fairly and properly, with a minimum acceptable level of courtesy is difficult, especially if they are not being courteous in return.

All that said and understood, I'd like to suggest that all officers try to attend "Verbal Judo" classes.

Let me say, and I cannot stress this enough, that at no time should any officer ever put courtesy before officer safety or officer survival. Do what you must do to go home at the end of your shift. However, and this is where we must be careful, "officer survival" does not include being rude, discourteous or disrespectful. You can be polite even as you put handcuffs on someone, and witnesses will remember it. "Sir, quit resisting!" sounds much better than, "Stop fighting, s**thead!"

Think about it: if you're holding a suspect at gunpoint for say, armed robbery, do you say, "Don't move - I'll shoot you!" OR do you say, "Don't move - don't make me shoot you!" How about, "Don't move - I don't want to shoot you!" The first command plus the statement may indicate your willingness to shoot the suspect, but might witnesses interpret the statement as desire? The second and third options both include the command and the threat of deadly force but worded in such a way as to show a lack of desire to commit the act of force. Are we any less willing to commit that act of force if need be? I certainly hope not, but we might be perceived that way by the on-scene public and it will inevitably help you if, God forbid, you have to pull the trigger. Think about what those witnesses will say to investigators, grand juries, etc.

Everything we do on duty, in or out of uniform, is scrutinized in some way, shape or form, either by our supervisors or by the public. Do what you can to make sure that everything you do reflects a professional and courteous image, even when you deal with people who are neither.