Let’s face facts. Police work sucks much of the time. We have to tolerate daily ridicule and contempt, hours upon hours of wasted time sitting in court waiting so a plea deal can be made without a word of testimony. No normal person would subject themselves to such misery and keep coming back, yet we do - day after day, week after week, year after year. We keep coming back with little in the way of appreciation. So why do we do it? Honestly, we must be a little weird. The “why” is deep in the soul of each of us who stand the shaky ground between civility and chaos. What I do know, for a fact, is that we all NEED to come together and recharge. One of the most difficult things to do is coming together but it is necessary.
Most of us know, but seldom contemplate, the solitude of police work. Most of our shift is spent by ourselves. Whether in a squad car or at a desk working a case load, we are alone. Yes, we routinely meet on a call, take a lunch break together, or even workout together but rarely do we get the kind of time together to know each other in a non-policing environment. In most other professions coworkers, for the most part, get to be themselves. Their friendships begin, good or bad, on a basis of natural behaviors.
Not so in police work. All of us in Law Enforcement put on some degree of a work persona. To deal with the physical and emotional stressors of the job, we become nearly mechanical or robotic. Sometimes who we really are sneaks out but is quickly tucked away behind the badge; dispatched out of sight due to the fear of being perceived as weak or soft. The unspoken truth is there’s individual behind the badge who hopes and even begs to be set free at some point; free to be more than a machine; free to be genuine; free to be human in all our imperfect glory. So how do we start to achieve that freedom? I say start with getting together outside of work and have some fun.
What the hell is “fun?” One dictionary defines it as enjoyment, amusement, lighthearted stress-free pleasure... Rare words in a cop’s vocabulary. Those words don’t get tossed around much, let alone acted out in our profession. I would not define our jobs as Police Officers as “Fun.” Action packed, exciting, exhilarating? Yes, Yes, and Yes… but fun? I am not so sure about that. What I am sure about is that these super-humans that we call cops need time that we can laugh, talk, and not have to worry about the constant criticism that we face on a daily basis.
So… How do I have fun? Well as often as we can, my husband (Police Officer) and I host gatherings at our home. With so much scrutiny from both internal sources and outsiders, we must have a place that we feel safe to be ourselves and let loose. We do have “Get-togethers” in public places, but I feel most safe when I am in the confines of my own home surrounded by my closest friends. I am able to be myself without the fear of criticism… except for when I “misbehave” with my shenanigans on snapchat (username is fitcops) in front of thousands of people… but that is beside the point! We drink a tiny bit of alcohol, act a little stupid, listen to rap music, and I always attempt “Twerking” on everyone around me. Yes, I know, it can be quite embarrassing sometimes for certain people who have a reputation to maintain. But ask me if I care?! I don’t. When I get the chance to have fun and let loose, you better not ruin my good time by telling me I can’t dance (even though I know deep down that I really can’t).
There are also other activities that we enjoy. Many like to play golf, tennis, hike, bike or other recreational sports on their off-time. Some are involved in softball teams, hockey teams, and other team sports to relax. My husband and I enjoy going to our CrossFit gym where a lot of Police Officers from other agencies attend. Whatever outlet you choose, grab some like-minded coworkers and bond outside of work.
To any spouses that may be reading this: as a cop’s spouse, you hold a lot of power in your hands. Most of the time, spouses can understand the stressors of the job. But in reality, no one understands it better than your brothers and sisters in blue. While most spouses or significant others will understand some of the scrutiny that we face as Police Officers, most will actually never know the depths to which this same scrutiny affects us. Spouses, you know how you feel when you read the negative slant about police and how infuriating it is. The Officer in your life has to face the negativity daily while still attempting to comfort and encourage you. You can easily lessen their stress, and yours, by supporting them in letting loose with their friends every now and then to vent. It is vitally important that spouses/significant others support these gatherings.
Every cop needs to recharge their batteries. Every cop has real feelings, whether they admit it or not. Even though most of us feel that we have to pretend like we have a heart made of concrete, so that we don’t appear weak, deep down we NEED to laugh, act silly, and not think about our jobs for a few short hours. During this “down time” you should connect with your brothers and sisters for your mental and physical health.
Kayla Walker | Fitness Contributor
KP is a veteran police officer, mom, wife and fitness competitor. Having faced the challenges of being a small (5'-3") woman on the street and all the negativity that faced her as she entered the fitness competition realm, KP started an online community via Facebook (facebook.com/fitcops) and Twitter (@fitcops) and Instagram (@fitcops and @kpatfitcops) to support fitness oriented officers. That online community has grown and she's started a third career as a writer to help share the fitness message and to focus on challenges that face female police officers in today's world.
