I don't think there was ever a dull moment for us this holiday season. With only four weeks between Thanksgiving and Christmas we felt as if we were always running and never prepared for anything. Heck, it's December 23rd and we still have not done our Christmas shopping because we were in the mode of responding from one situation to the next rather than planning. Our tree was not decorated until the day before we hosted a party at our house for Mike's coworkers. It has been like this since the day before Thanksgiving.
Another reason we feel fatigued is this month the weather changes have been severe and drastic. One day we would be walking around without coats and the next would be sub zero temperatures in which skin could freeze in minutes if not covered. Another day all the snow would be melted and the next there would be a blizzard that made travel conditions treacherous and unsafe. A sixteen mile trip home from work which is normally driven in thirty minutes would turn into an hour and a half commute. Already with winter in its early stages we are tired of the cold, dark, short days and are already asking how much longer until summer? Even though winter has just begun and we have many more months to go, we are ready for it to end.
During this holiday season we have had highs and lows. We feel emotionally and physically drained from tragedy that has struck as well as excited about spending time with family, friends, and even coworkers at the dreaded company parties. Our first party was scheduled for the first Saturday of the month which turned into a two night affair. It was my annual party with colleagues from Joliet. When we first got the invite we were very excited about the location because it is a famous Chicago steakhouse we cannot afford and have always dreamed of going to so we instantly told my office manager an emphatic Yes. On that Saturday all the psychiatrists, counselors, support staff, and spouses arrived at the restaurant except for the person who is supposed to pay, the head psychiatrist and owner of the practice. When he was finally located by phone, it was learned he was over an hour away and that the invite had been printed with the wrong date so he told everyone to come back on Sunday. Being that most of us wanted to stay on the good side of the person who signs our paychecks, most of us made the trek back the second night. Plus we did not want to pass up a free dinner at Morton's Steak House, however putting aside two nights of a packed holiday season did put us in the mode of always feeling like we were behind in our planning rather than prepared.
The second weekend of the month took some unexpected turns. Our plans were to have a nice dinner out on Friday at our favorite French bistro where the staff knows us by name and then to attend another office party the following night, start on our Christmas shopping, decorate the home, and begin planning for having Mike's coworkers over at the home the following weekend. Little did we know I was about to be poisoned by a Starfish in my bouillabaisse and one of Mike's coworkers would pass away in his sleep at the young age of 47. The chemical toxins in the Starfish were violent in my system and looking back we should have gone to the emergency room. We were up all night with me leaning over the toilet retching from the dark trenches of my digestive system. At 5:22am Mike's sergeant called asking me to be available to Mike's shift because one of their own had passed away during the night. Mike had already called in sick to take care of me, but we spent the day at the police station with little or no sleep because it was the only place to be. The next few days were a blur as Mike worked his twelve hour shifts, took his turn guarding the casket at the wake, and attending the funeral service.
The third weekend of the month was packed as well since invites had been issued in November to his coworkers to come over for a shift party. We scrambled to get the house decorated and cleaned as well as buying food and beverages for the night's affair. It went off successfully and tamely with everyone beginning to head home at 10:30pm. His shift is used to going to bed early since roll call begins at 5:30am on the days they work.
As I spend my days talking with people about their worries and anxieties, I know that many felt this month has gone too fast and they felt unprepared. However, even if you are one of the few that felt well organized most of us need to recover from our holiday season. Here are some tips to help you get back on track.
Re-establishing Routine
Get back into pre-holiday routines. Returning to normal routines helps us feel centered and balanced, and quickly reduces stress that has built up over the fast-paced holidays.
Get Physical
Start up, or rejoin, a fitness program. For too many, taking care of ourselves takes a backseat to holiday hustle. By the end of the year our diet consists largely of sugar, caffeine, and alcohol, culminating in back-to-back carbohydrate blowouts! Pay penance at the gym; you will like it.
Find Laughter
The winter months can be dark, long, and dreary, so be deliberate about having fun. Hit the movies, go to a comedy club, connect with people who make you laugh, or whatever it takes to see the lighter side. Below are a couple of our earlier articles to start with (yeah, we know it is shameless self-promotion, but we crack ourselves up).
Nurture Spirituality
We are all spiritual beings, and for many the holidays connect us to that often forgotten aspect of who we are. Keep that connection going! The new year is a great time to get (re)acquainted with your spiritual side.
Be More than a Cop
Join a club. Volunteer to coach youth hockey. Take a class. Pick up a new sport. Commit to being a better spouse/parent/partner. Expand your horizons. Cops often let the professional aspect of their life define who they are and become one dimensional. Being more than a cop will actually help you to be a better cop.
Give Back
December is often a time we think of giving our time and money to charities. Continue to find ways to donate your time, talents and money throughout the year.
Pay Off Debt
The holidays are expensive, with gift-giving, traveling, social gatherings, and food taking command of our wallets. Pay off debt as early as possible, so you are not still paying for last week's dinner at Olive Garden next October (at 14% interest!).
Connect with Family
Cops give much of themselves to the community they protect, often at the expense of their own families. This is doubly true at the holidays. Remember the sacrifice your spouse and kids, parents and siblings, also make by giving you to the community. Devote time to them. They deserve it.
We hope your holiday season was filled with happy memories that propel you into a prosperous new year. For those of you who have experienced sadness this season, our hearts go out to you as we remember our gentle giant Donald "DJ" Andries of the Naperville Police Department who started off responding to most calls "How may I help you?" May his servant attitude be passed onto you.
Michael Wasilewski
Althea Olson, LCSW and Mike Wasilewski, MSW have been married since 1994. Mike works full-time as a police officer for a large suburban Chicago agency while Althea is a social worker in private practice in Joliet & Naperville, IL. They have been popular contributors of Officer.com since 2007 writing on a wide range of topics to include officer wellness, relationships, mental health, morale, and ethics. Their writing led to them developing More Than A Cop, and traveling the country as trainers teaching “survival skills off the street.” They can be contacted at [email protected] and can be followed on Facebook or Twitter at More Than A Cop, or check out their website www.MoreThanACop.com.
Althea Olson
Althea Olson, LCSW and Mike Wasilewski, MSW have been married since 1994. Mike works full-time as a police officer for a large suburban Chicago agency while Althea is a social worker in private practice in Joliet & Naperville, IL. They have been popular contributors of Officer.com since 2007 writing on a wide range of topics to include officer wellness, relationships, mental health, morale, and ethics. Their writing led to them developing More Than A Cop, and traveling the country as trainers teaching “survival skills off the street.” They can be contacted at [email protected] and can be followed on Facebook or Twitter at More Than A Cop, or check out their website www.MoreThanACop.com.
