What is the fastest way to land behind bars?
A: Stand on a stranger's porch naked
B: Ask the police if head-butting them will send you to jail
C: Spit in an officer's face
D: All of the above
If you answered "D" -- you could have given Thomas Edwards Jr. a few pointers early Sunday morning.
The 22-year-old had a run-in with several Casselberry police officers after a homeowner called 911 to say a man had knocked on his door and was stripping down on his back porch.
When officers arrived about 3:45 a.m., an arrest report said, Edwards was "completely naked." They told him to put his boxers back on.
Edwards, who said his name was "Zim," told officers his girlfriend invited him over so that he could propose to her.
She wanted him to strip down, he said.
Edwards told police "he just wanted to go to jail" and asked if head-butting an officer would get him there.
"I told him not to try it," one of the responding officers reported.
Edwards then told the officer he would spit in his face.
"I again told him not to try it," the officer stated.
Not long after, Edwards stood up and walked toward the officer, who told him to sit back down.
Edwards then spat in the officer's face, the report said.
Another officer tased Edwards in the left hip and thigh. Edwards fell, scraping his knee and foot on the driveway. He rolled over and pulled the taser prongs out.
Edwards didn't get to propose to his girlfriend that morning, but he did get what he asked for: a trip to jail.
The Maitland man was arrested on charges of indecent exposure in public, battery on an officer and burglary.
Edwards attended a first court appearance Monday and was ordered to not return to the Casselberry home.
He remained at the John E. Polk Correctional Facility in Sanford on Tuesday.
Copyright 2013 - Orlando Sentinel
McClatchy-Tribune News Service