Many things police officers face on a routine basis create stress. In turn, police families are affected. Yet the end of the career can induce more stress as officers and their families have to adapt to this new period of life.
In his research of general retirement satisfaction, Dr. Daniel A. Goldfarb found several factors that contribute to a positive outlook. These factors include perceived health, adequate contact with friends, sufficient income and the attitude a person has when approaching retirement. Bill Rehm points out, "In one of life's little ironies, the officer is about to join the rank of a population often derided by police officers - civilians. Regardless of the issues that might come up after retirement, there are many things police families can do to prepare and ease the transition."
Heading towards Retirement
Plan Together
"Changes in lifestyle, friendships, self-esteem, and vocation are all part of the process," John M. Violanti, Ph.D. explains. "Retirement is especially difficult for police officers who leave the law enforcement profession at middle age, often unprepared for the consequences of change." Fortunately, this can be avoided.
"Before an officer retires, the family should be involved in the decision making process," Violanti explains. "By discussing these issues beforehand, a family can develop strategies to deal with them together." Sitting down with your spouse and discussing future plans can help ease the feeling of isolation and bring your family closer. Although you may have discussed various goals throughout your relationship and the officer's career, another discussion to plan retirement would be beneficial.
Ask questions, such as "Will you both be working, or will one of you stay home? If so, what issues does this raise? What are your expectations of each other?" suggests Ellen Kirschman, author of I Love a Cop. Another question, especially applicable to law enforcement, is when retirement will take place. Many agencies offer programs which require an officer to retire at a certain time, such as Phoenix Police Department's DROP program. By discussing options and concerns with your spouse, you can help ease underlying fears.
Finances can be stressful anytime, but become particularly problematic when facing retirement. Again, by working together, a realistic picture of family economics can ease this stress. Sitting down with the agency's retirement office, or with an outside financial planner several years prior to retirement will give you an idea of what your family will need to maintain your standard of living. Also, find out how benefits, such as health and life insurance will change.
Along with a financial change, an officer and his family need to be aware of the emotional changes. Knowledge of the possible changes is essential for retirement satisfaction and family harmony. Violanti explains a change in lifestyle requires families to adjust to issues which arise after retirement, including when officers can't find work and stay home or when ego conflicts arise if the spouse is now the sole breadwinner. After 33 years with the Phoenix Police Department, Phyllis Boyd's husband retired three years ago as part of the DROP program. "Every officer who retires should see a therapist to help them prepare before retirement because the way their mind is geared comes to a complete halt," Boyd explains. The department "should have some sort of program worked out (to help them) with what they are thinking, someone to advise them about their retirement money, what to expect, emotionally and financially and what to expect at home," she adds.
Another aspect officers need to be aware of prior to retirement is how they will view what they contributed to the job they left behind. Many spouses have listened while their officer lamented over whether or not they are making a difference. Prior to retirement, spouses can encourage them to leave on a high note. "They should be thinking about the legacy they want to leave behind when they retire and how they will accomplish this in their remaining years on the force," Kirschman says. "It may not be the heroic legacy they dreamed of as a rookie but a realistic legacy seasoned with their years of experience." She has numerous recommendations in her book.
When the Day Comes
Eventually, the day of retirement will come. Once the cake is gone and the locker is cleared, there are three things officers should do.
Find something to do
Structure was an important part of a law officer's day. The loss of this structure may morph into aimlessness. Structure of police work was a form of internal control and gave the officer a sense of purpose and direction. Loss of this, according to Michael J. McCormick, can cause a sense of hopelessness, chaos and anxiety. Although Boyd's husband planned to take another job, he spent a month at home. "He would walk listlessly from room to room," she says. "He had his crafts but he would not get anything accomplished and would lose interest in it. He was lost." Her recommendation for couples facing an officer's boredom after retirement: "Travel. Take the time to be with each other. Have him find something to do in his field. Volunteer. Anything to keep him active with what he knows. Or go back to work in law enforcement." Encourage your spouse to stay physically and mentally active.
Stay in contact
Separating from the police support network may result in isolation and withdrawal, according to McCormick. "When an officer leaves this environment, feelings of detachment and fear may develop," Violanti adds. Working in law enforcement makes you part of a fraternity. Walking away causes many retirees to feel no longer a part of something. This, again, can lead to listlessness and also a stressful reliance on the spouse to entertain them. Keeping contact with former co-workers can ease this. "Continued association with police friends and the department offers a good source of support when times seem difficult," Violanti says. "That was one of the good things," Boyd says. "He would go and have lunch with the people he worked with about once a week. He missed the action. He missed the investigating and it left him in a lost mode around the house because fixing a door is boring."
Learn to Adapt
"Officers must learn to adapt to the new lifestyle changes retirement brings and understand that their self-esteem comes from within and not from the authority they previously personified," says McCormick. He adds the officer and their family can benefit from retirement counseling to help understand and cope with the changes.
"He was in shock and denial that he wasn't working," Boyd says of her husband. "We got a little snappy at each other. It was kind of annoying to have him around all the time. I wasn't used to having him around me all the time and he wasn't used to being around me all the time."
Retirement often brings police officers and their families less occupational stress, more flexibility and renewal of relationships. With planning and understanding it can be a positive opportunity. "The best way to deal with retirement is to prepare adequately," Violanti says. "Plan for both good and bad experiences." Rehm adds, "Administrators also can help officers realize that with a little planning in these areas, retirement from a law enforcement agency is not merely the end of a familiar way of life but the beginning of a new life with new challenges."
