12 Favorite Christmas Cops and Crooks Movies (Besides 'Die Hard')

2. Just about any Shane Black movie

As mentioned earlier, Shane Black has a thing for Christmas-set movies, and I could have filled this list almost exclusively with films he wrote and/or directed. But my need not to be repetitive clashed with my indecisiveness, so I split the dog and included his four Christmas crime movies 

• Lethal Weapon (1987): Die Hard might be the peak of alt Christmas movies, but Lethal Weapon is the ridge right before the summit. It wades into the melancholy often associated with the holidays in Mel Gibson’s widowed Martin Riggs, while still embracing the warmth of Christmas with the more traditional family of Danny Glover’s Roger Murtagh. And it has one kick-ass final fight scene set amid Christmas lights and decorations.

• The Last Boy Scout (1991): Like a ghost, the Christmas spirit is practically invisible in this Tony Scott-directed Bruce Willis-Damon Wayans vehicle; a drawing of “Satan Claus” by Willis’ daughter is the most overt sign of the holidays. And if “Satan Claus” doesn’t get its hooks into you — "He's out there, and he's just getting stronger," Willis' ex-Secret Service agent turned private eye tells Wayans' disgraced pro football quarterback — the over-the-top opening scene and Taylor Negron’s perpetually annoyed sociopathic hitman will. And remember that earlier quote from a Bruce Willis movie? This is the source.

• Kiss Kiss Bang Bang (2007): The movie responsible for putting both Shane Black and Robert Downey Jr. back on the showbiz map. Where Black’s earlier Christmas crime movies looked at the holiday through the lens of family, KKBB shows the loneliness in crowds during the season. People drift in and out of packed office celebrations and holiday-themed club events, constantly surrounded by party-goers but with nothing to go home to. It also features one of the best on-screen heists ever: Val Kilmer stealing the entire movie as private investigator “Gay” Perry van Shrike.

• The Nice Guys (2017): I know this breaks the rule about no movies that only feature a brief Christmas scene; the only hints of the holidays are decorations in a bar at the very end of this 1977-set movie. But let’s call this the Shane Black Exception (alternative title: It’s My List, and I’ll Do What I Want To), because it’s too good a movie to miss. There’s wonderful unexpected chemistry between Ryan Gosling and Russell Crowe, a private investigator and a hired heavy, respectively, who end up working on the same case. Crowe probably delivers his best performance this century, Gladiator and the A Beautiful Mind be damned.

3. Cobra (1986)

In 1988, Die Hard cast the mold and ushered in the 1990s action hero. But two years earlier, Cobra closed the door on the Dirty Harry-style cop era, which spanned roughly a decade and a half. It also represents a microcosm of the early to mid ‘80s, and like that time frame, the movie is all about excess. It has supermodel photo shoots and spree-killing cultists who are more an existential force than actual characters. And Sylvester Stallone’s Marion Cobretti has more affectations and quirky personal traits than a spec script for a Northern Exposure/Picket Fences crossover. He chews on a toothpick, carries a Colt Gold Cup National Match pistol (with custom "cobra" grips, 'natch), drives a tricked-out 1950 Mercury Monterey and lives off the beach in Venice, California. 

And this, famously, is how Cobra eats pizza.

This scene has been thoroughly mocked on the internet. But consider this: Cobra is spending the holidays by eating cold pizza with a pair of scissors while he cleans his gun. It’s possibly one of the saddest scenes in a Christmas movie of any kind. Could Clint Eastwood have squeezed this kind of pathos out of Dirty Harry if he had him eat a hot dog with a knife and fork as he watched A Charlie Brown Christmas in his boxers?

4. The Thin Man (1934)

Without a doubt, my favorite movie on a list of favorites. Everyone should have relationship goals to be more like retired detective Nick Charles (William Powell) and his well-to-do wife, Nora (Myrna Loy). They have to solve the disappearance and murder of a friend’s father amid their partying and heavy drinking, which is exacerbated because of the holidays. But a year removed from Prohibition, their boozing isn’t considered a weakness. In fact, it's quite the opposite. For Nick and Nora, a fine cocktail is like spinach to Popeye. Or maybe drinking is their superpower, along with delivering flirty bon mots that makes you wish you could be that cool at being in love and solving crimes. 

5. Cover Up (1949)

For most of the other movies on this list, Christmas is a backdrop and a setting. In Cover Up, it’s the motivation behind the mystery at the center of the movie. Dennis O’Keefe plays an insurance investigator who has come to a town outside of Chicago to look into the apparent suicide of the most hated man in the burg. What he finds is murder, and a town filled with citizens either hiding their own dark secrets or protecting a killer. Or both. 

6. Money Train (1995)

Money Train marks the second time Wesley Snipes and Woody Harrelson starred together, following up their fantastic 1992 sports comedy White Men Can’t Jump. The two haven’t carried a movie together since then, and Money Train shows why that’s a shame. Harrelson and Snipes have a cop buddy charm that's even more engaging than his celebrated onscreen partnership with his True Detective and Salesforce commercial co-star Matthew McConaughey. 

As foster brothers who also serve as New York City transit police officers, Harrelson and Snipes face the wrath of their captain (a truly despicable Robert Blake) for delaying the titular subway train carrying that day’s fare revenue while chasing a mugger on Christmas. The discovery of this “money train” provides too much temptation for Harrelson, who devises a scheme to rob it so he can pay off gambling debts to a threatening mobster. Snipes, however, proves to be his (foster) brother’s keeper, and he tries to derail the New Year’s Eve robbery.

All of this plays out as the brothers vie for the affections of a fellow officer (Jennifer Lopez), and the department tries to nab the Torch, a serial arsonist responsible for robbing token booths before setting the attendants inside on fire. Christmas and New Year's Eve provide a pinch of cinnamon to this frothy cup of cinematic eggnog. Harrelson’s gambling predicament is that much more dire and desperate because it unfolds at Christmas. The wildfire romance between Snipes and Lopez has an added spark because it ignites between Dec. 25 and Jan. 1, the way so many other coworker couplings do. And Blake resembles a 20th century Scrooge, if Ebenezer was an unhinged, sadistic transit police captain.

7. Hard Eight (1996)

Acclaimed director Paul Thomas Anderson has been garnering quite a bit of Oscar buzz this year for his latest movie in theaters, One Battle After Another. Nearly thirty years ago, though, he was releasing his first feature. Hard Eight centers around an aging gambler (Philip Baker Hall) who tries to atone for the sins of his criminal past by befriending and becoming a father figure for the adult son (John C. Reilly) of a man he killed. But that's not enough to exorcize those ghosts from his younger days, and they finally catch up with him in Reno, Nevada, during the Christmas season. Can Hall confront his past without sacrificing his current relationship with his surrogate son?

This isn’t one of PTA’s best movies (which include Boogie Nights and There Will Be Blood), but it’s still an accomplished first film, thanks in large part to Hall’s mesmerizing, understated performance, and strong supporting turns by Reilly, as well as then-rising stars Samuel L. Jackson and Gwyneth Paltrow.

For the other movies on the list, Christmas happens either on the wintry, snow-covered East Coast or the incongruously balmy, sun-drenched West Coast. Hard Eight shows a Reno at Christmas that appears inviting and warm at first glance but carries a chill in the air that cuts to the bone. Christmas in this city becomes a dark reflection for all four characters, who each hide the icier aspects of their nature behind a charming and sometimes seductive facades. 

8. Cash on Demand (1961)

A Christmas Carol is arguably the most recognizable modern holiday tale, so it makes sense that at least one British film should make this list. And it’s apropos that it’s a movie that puts its own spin on the Charles Dickens classic, using larceny instead of the supernatural to inspire its Scrooge stand-in to do better.

Peter Cushing plays a seemingly heartless bank manager who works his employees hard and puts the job ahead of almost everything in his life. Days before Christmas, a charismatic bank robber pleated André Morell poses as an insurance auditor and claims his associates are holding Cushing’s wife and child hostage. If Cushing doesn’t help Morell pull off a daring daytime heist, his wife will be painfully electrocuted. To prove his bloodthirsty threats have teeth, Morell lets Cushing briefly talk to his frantic and panicked wife, who pleads with her husband to do as he’s told.

Throughout the ordeal, Cushing shares some of the same revelations as Scrooge, but they come thanks to Morell’s cruel tormenting instead of ghostly visitors. Like Cover Up, Christmas isn’t just a passive setting, it drives the plot. We see the Christmas spirit, so to speak, take shape in the actions of some of the bank employees as they come to their boss’ aid. It’s that same spirit that appears to motivate Cushing’s personal transformation, and in the end, it’s a crafty criminal who teaches a cold-hearted bank manager the true meaning of Christmas.