This week is National Police Week and as a company, we would like to express our deepest thanks and heartfelt gratitude to our country’s Law Enforcement community. As a tribute to these brave men and women, we would like to share a story written by a member of our own team who has chosen to remain nameless.
-RAD DeRose, President of L-Tron Corporation
Being the wife or a child of a Police Officer is not for wimps.
People will use you to try to get information and to get out of trouble. Your children will be teased and even rejected by their peers because of what their father does. The divorce rate is high, as the stress of the job can be just too much for everyone involved. As a spouse, you must be willing to work hard to allow time and space for your loved one to decompress after each shift. I see my Officer trying to compartmentalize the day’s events and keep the family and job separate – both physically and metaphorically. He (and our family) receive midnight phone calls for him to come into work. Missed birthdays, family events, sporting events and countless holidays - you know the drill.
When our children were small, their perception of their father was that of a superhero. He went out and caught the bad guys. As they grew older, he became the voice of law and rules in our home, always encouraging them to do what’s right. Now, as young adults, they see him as someone who makes sacrifices for other people and tries to keep people safe. However they also see the negative ways the media portrays his chosen profession, and the stress he is under as a leader in his department.
My husband has been “on the job” for 29+ years now and no two days have been the same. There is no such thing as a “routine shift” when working in such a dangerous profession. His jobs have included the drug squad, going under cover, shootings, gangs, domestic violence, child abuse, family disputes and much more. Literally every call that comes in could be his last.
I imagine what it must be like:
- Banging down the door of a drug house, not knowing who or what is waiting for you on the other side of the door. Will there be someone armed or with weapons within reach? Will you need to jump out a window and run after someone trying to flee, not knowing where they were headed?
- Being confronted with young children being abused, neglected, injured in accidents, and even killed. This changes your perception of your own children and makes you think long and hard.
- Dealing with mental hygiene arrests of all types – those who are young, old, unstable or drug-induced. Coping with the combative and the sick. Handling the complicated dynamics of the family members and other individuals involved.
- Breaking up bar fights, holiday shootings, and domestic disputes…one after another after another.
- Trying to determine what the hxxx happened when you walk into a bloody, gruesome crime scene, and then trying to calmly convey that information to family members.
- Giving death notifications to loved ones. Seeing families at their most vulnerable, heartbreaking moments and trying to be a comfort to them.
- Working motor vehicle accidents, suicides, hostage situations and experiencing the aftermath of destroyed lives. Seeing people at their very worst each and every day.
I recall one night when our children were just babies and my husband did not come home at his usual time. As the time slowly and painfully ticked by, my mind went to the worst possible scenarios, wondering why I had not received a call saying he was late on a job. As we later found out, there was a man who had shot his wife. She was lying on the steps of the house, bleeding from her wounds. My Officer husband made his way to the front steps of the house, shielded by his police vehicle, because the man was armed and dangerous. My husband managed to rescue the wife and dragged her to safety away from her armed husband. The ending to this story was tragic for this family of five – only two children survived.
What the public perceives as a routine traffic stop is much more involved than one can imagine. How will the person react, likely not warm and fuzzy; their emotions can take them places; even violent places. There is a reason the Officer must remain focused, calm and PROFESSIONAL. Many other professions can be “touchy -feely” but this isn’t one of them. I do feel a special connection to my job here, I have asked to work on the solutions we provide to Law Enforcement. And as I put all of the parts and pieces together with care, I am thinking “anything I can do to assist Officers in their job, by making it more efficient and /or safer - I am there.”
Very rarely does an Officer receive a call of thanks.
Instead, it’s more often a call because things have gotten out of control. And then, you have the general public second guessing an Officer’s split second decisions - but if an Officer hesitates just a fraction of a second, they could be lying in a pool of blood and they face these kinds of situations every single day.
The daily intensity of the job can take a toll, physically and emotionally. Each Officer is affected. Each family is affected. So, why did my husband – and the majority of his colleagues – choose this career path? To HELP people – ALL people – regardless of race, ethnicity or age. Day in, day out, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year.
Officers are not perfect. They’re human, trying to do the best job they can with the training they have received. No Officer wakes up one morning and says, “I think I want to take someone’s life today.” The public never has all the facts, nor should they until the entire investigation is complete. But unfortunately the damage of the situation has already been done with the sensationalized media. No one ever hears all of the facts until after an investigation has been concluded. The only statistics that are reported are those which are convenient to the media’s political agenda. And you certainly won’t hear the media apologize or make corrections to previous incorrect reports.
Follow the law; the Police won’t bother you. Don’t flee and you won’t be chased. Your attitude and actions will determine how an interaction proceeds. Out of the millions of interactions the police have with people across the country on a daily basis – why is it that the exceptions are now the rule and getting the most attention? Walk a mile in their shoes - it’s not a made for TV series.
Stressful did anyone ask? Yup - it’s not for wimps. As his wife, I constantly strive to maintain unwavering support of my Officer. My children are proud and supportive of their Officer. I find it sad that I feel I have to choose to remain nameless. To our communities, I want to urge them to respect, support and thank an Officer for their service, today!
