The Male Midlife Crisis: Fact or Fiction

Jan. 10, 2018
Midlife crisis is a coin termed by Elliott Jaques, a Canadian psychoanalyst in 1965, describing this as a time where adults realize their own mortality and their remaining years of productive life. While most people do not experience a severe crisis...

Most people envision the male in a midlife crisis as the salt-and-pepper-haired man riding on a Harley with a yoga instructor half his age on the back, holding on to him so tightly it is difficult for him to drive.  The belief is that suddenly a man turns a critical corner into the midlife abyss, and there is no going back. The wild partying on the weekend, the 20-somethings bar scene, and the feelings of freedom are but a distant memory. All that remains is a man broken and dissatisfied.

Truth: While midlife may be a stressful time, the midlife crisis is a myth for most men. Most men will experience a transitional phase into midlife rather than full-blown crisis. Based on a US study, only 10% of middle aged men had a psychological crisis and the rest showed no signs of emotional breakdown due to aging.

Previous Definition

Midlife crisis is a coin termed by Elliott Jaques, a Canadian psychoanalyst in 1965, describing this as a time where adults realize their own mortality and their remaining years of productive life. While most people do not experience a severe crisis during their middle years of life, some individuals do develop mental health conditions such as depression and anxiety; conditions that are treatable.

Symptoms

People who do report being affected by a male midlife crisis site the following as feelings they experienced and behaviors they engaged in:

·        Alcohol abuse, drug usage, food intake, or other compulsive behaviors

·         Purchasing expensive items (sport cars, motorcycles, gym equipment, Botox/hair replacement

·         An oppressive feeling of being under-appreciated/invisible

·         Paying attention to physical appearance (baldness, weight gain, etc.)

·         Sexual affairs, especially with someone much younger

·         Exhaustion, boredom, or discontentment with life or with a lifestyle (including people and things) that previously provided fulfillment

·         Frantic energy; feeling restless and wanting to do something completely different

·         Feeling that your life no longer fits you.

·         A desire for excitement and thrills.

·         Self-questioning; questioning decisions made years earlier and the meaning of life

·         A nagging curiosity of the path you didn’t take and all the “cool” things you will never do because of money, fear, or a general sense of laziness.

·         Irritability, unexpected anger

·         Depression

·         Significant decrease or increase in sexual desire

·         Greatly decreased or increased ambition

Causes

Significant loss can trigger a crisis at any time. This is true through the midlife years, as well as before or after middle age. Anything that forces an individual to force his or her own mortality can cause stress. Losses include death of a parent or other loved one(s); or changes in health or a relationship; loss of job; bankruptcy; etc.

Within law enforcement, witnessing such losses daily, forces an officer to evaluate their own mortality routinely, as well as the mortality of those close to him. You say goodbye to family as you head off to work, and pray you will come home to be with them later. Perhaps you have been shot, assaulted, or in an accident while on duty. Nothing hammers in the fact that life is short than a critical incident.

In life, losses are unavoidable. You can run, but you can not hide from the fact that you too will die. For many, encountering a loved one’s death or other significant loss will cause their life to change radically. Their beliefs and value system may also change.  In midlife, individuals look at this fact, and may suddenly realize they have lived half their life and begin to question if this is how they want to live the rest of their life.

Other contributing factors include men’s andropause, financial issues, unemployment, a chronic pain disorder, depression, or children leaving home.

Andropause is a collection of symptoms, including fatigue and a decrease in libido, experienced by some middle-aged men and attributed to a gradual decline in testosterone levels. Low testosterone production, can lead to erectile dysfunction in men, as well as low energy, diminished libido, weight gain, bone weakness, hair loss, and depression.  However, hormone replacement therapy can help alleviate these symptoms.

Management of Male Midlife Crisis

Men who report symptoms of a midlife crisis report that the process lasts between 3-10 years. People with this condition don’t necessarily require an evaluation by a psychiatrist as there are many alternative ways that can help an individual to overcome this issue. Activities such as sports, exercise, volunteer work, social involvement, new hobbies, etc. can be your self-treatment regimen. A healthy diet is also recommended as the body requires vitamins and nutrients due to aging. It is essential that if you are suffering symptoms that you make appropriate lifestyle changes, including, controlling excessive alcohol consumption, if you smoke-stop, and improving your sleep hygiene.

Some Additional Tips

·         Remember that your feelings aren't commands. Just because you feel like you must escape your home, job, or marriage doesn't mean you have to do it.

·         Be thankful for the good things. Take time to be grateful for the parts of your life that make you happy.

·         Before you make major decisions, discuss them with someone whose advice you'll trust.

·         Ask yourself whether your wishes are realistic or fantasies. Men make plenty of successful changes in midlife/before/after: go back to college, travel, change jobs, etc. Set goals that are practical and within your grasp.

Conclusion

Relax, most experts view the term “midlife crisis” as just a simple “fear “, which many people have been conditioned to believe as an event that will happen. Beyond that, midlife crisis is just the time for reflection and reassessment.

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