I have a black tank top with a blue stripe. On the top and the bottom of the stripe are the words, “HE BLEEDS BLUE SO I DO TOO.” I’ve worn this top running, out walking my dog and even to my non-dress code staff meetings at a social service agency who works closely with police and fire. What I noticed while I was out walking this morning was that I have an interesting change in perception and reaction to other people when I am wearing it. I’ve always been a people watcher and I contemplate the behavior of those around me. I watch their facial expressions and their body language. When I’m wearing this tank top or any other pro-police article of clothing, I realize I perceive more animosity and judgment from those around me. I react with more defiance and feel more defensive. This all returns back to how this shirt represents my family.
It’s not just a culture
Many people describe the intense protective feelings and behaviors that occur within public safety and in law enforcement in particular as a culture. Culture is defined as a collective manifestation and this fits when you think of the collective behaviors officers exhibit. Behaviors such as, never sitting with their backs to a room, taking control of any situation and meeting most disagreements as if they were a threat. When you consider their training and the nature of their work, these behaviors make a lot of sense. They are about situational awareness and command presence. Officers train extensively on these behaviors and then the streets lock them in making each a subconscious part of their character. How this indoctrination can turn negative especially in personal relationships without awareness and careful tending is a whole larger discussion for another time. These feelings and the connection this collective environment creates is more than just a culture, it becomes an intimate family. Compare it to two people who grew up and live in the same community. They each might have similar characteristics and relate to common things. They have a shared environmental experience and if it’s a small tight-knit community, like the one I lived in up in Michigan’s UP, there is a strong sense of loyalty and kinship. Now make that lens even smaller and focus on a family unit. Families consist of a wide variety of people who possibly grew up in different areas with different experiences. Family generally has a deeper sense of loyalty than a community. Many people are extremely protective of their family members even if they bicker copiously with them. It’s like the sibling concept: I can mess with my brother but you’d better not dare.
We don’t always agree with what our family members do and sometimes they are downright train wrecks. The thing with police family is that when a member does something so egregiously outside our code of ethics they no longer get to hold the label of family. They did not meet the standards of our family and therefore no longer get to be in it. They should not have been in the first place. At the same time, we hold special space for all of our family members even when they have been accused of something especially when they are being attacked in the media and by society at large. Yes, we get defensive. Yes, we rally around our family members. We understand that there are a lot of people out there who hate them just because of the uniform they wear. People who refuse to acknowledge that it is society and each and every person residing in it that have tasked our family member with the job of keeping the peace, enforcing the laws and ensuring safety. In the extreme, they have granted permission for them to take a life if necessary. Members of this same society then turn around and spew hatred, spit on them and assassinate officers because they are upholding their end of the contract society made with them. Does this mean that within our family we protect those who violate their end of the contract by acting with bias and without morality? Of course not. But it does mean that we are not going to automatically send our family member out to be torn to shreds by the mob outside our gates.
Apparel
So what does all of this have to do with my tank top? Unlike other public safety members, fire fighters, military, EMS, etc, police officers generally do not wear attire that states what they do for a living. They especially don’t wear sarcastic or witty pieces full of officer humor most others don’t understand and won’t appreciate. Imagine a shirt with your department’s logo on the front and the words, “I arrested your honor student,” or “My favorite position is when you’re face down.” Internally, they’d be hilarious. Externally, like in so many things, the person wearing it would be judged and exposed to an endless barrage of people telling them how heartless and inappropriate they are. It would be the epitome of why people don’t like officers because they’re mean and hate people, except for other officers of course.
Those of us who have officers as partners, on the other hand, love to wear this type of attire for them. I love my “I love my officer” clothing. I’m proud of what my SO does for a living. It says so much about his character that he is strong enough to loyally, morally and consciously uphold his end of society’s contract but also keep his dignity while society judges and hates him for the same agreement. I proudly accept and stand tall in our place in this police family. I’ll loudly proclaim our pride for both of us with my attire. I’ll meet the hateful stares without lowering my eyes and I will acknowledge the subtle nods of those in uniform. I’ll continue to remind those I interact with that blanket statements and clumping all the men and women who wear the uniform into one disdained group is no different than doing the same to specific ethnicities, genders or sexual orientations. It’s bias based on occupation. And although no one has asked for officers to be put in a protected class, I sometimes wonder if they should. After all being an officer is what my partner does for a living and it colors much of how he behaves, but it is not who he is. It does not define him and it makes me super angry that there are people who would murder him just because of it. It is for all these reasons that I proudly wear my pro-police shirts and will continue doing so. I support my blue family. They come first and always will.
