'Tis The (Magnified) Silly Season

Every year near Thanksgiving, “The Silly Season” kicks off. It’s almost like you can watch it following Santa Claus down the road at the end of the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade. “Oh, look! There’s Santa!!” “Yep. And there’s supreme...

As to the end-of-the-world-as-we-know-it-Twinkie connection…  In the movie Ghostbusters, a Twinkie was used as a demonstration learning tool to describe the amount of evil energy being loosed on the city of New York.  How many of you remember the immortal, yet simple, line:  “That’s a big Twinkie.”  Without the heroic actions of the Ghostbusters in their epic battle against the gigantic Stay-Puff Marshmallow man, New York – and quite possibly the rest of the world – would have been destroyed.  But a Twinkie was the demonstration tool.

The next end-of-the-world-as-we-know-it-Twinkie connection occurred in the new classic movie, Zombieland.  When the character Tallahassee, played by Woody Harrelson, spends the entire movie looking for a Twinkie, the delicious treat became a center piece of motivation and reason for survival.  Rule #32: Take time to enjoy the little things in life.  For Tallahassee, the Twinkie was one of those little things he just can’t live without.  Fifty years from now when my great grandchildren look up at me and say, “GG, what’s a Twinkie?” as we watch that movie, I’ll have to smile and try to figure out exactly how to explain it.

Finally, this holiday season, we get to deal with whatever idiotic fallout will come from the last repetitive date we’ll see this century being marked on our calendar:  12/12/12.  December 12th, 2012 will be the last time there is a repetitive date on the calendar until the year 2101 – eighty-nine years from now.  I doubt I’ll be around for it, but I intend to try.

For virtually every repetitive date that has occurred in the past twelve years (beginning with 01/01/01) there has been some kind of end-of-the-world myth.  My favorite is the 11-11-11 myth that, on that date, all law enforcement and military will cease to exist and the world will evolve from that date on without the use of force by anyone… ever.  How cool would that be?  Such a peaceful world.  Unfortunately, humans aren’t all peaceful by nature so I think that one was especially ridiculous.  I also feel bad for several people I met who had “11-11-11” tattood on the inside of their right wrist, apparently identifying themselves as believers in the certain coming of the era of world peace on that date.  What does that tattoo mean now?

For the 12-12-12, although I can’t find any real record or report of it, I’m sure someone somewhere has not only predicted the end of the world but they are also trying to leverage it either for power, or money, or as another excuse to exercise their stupidity.  I DID meet one person who felt the Mayan’s got it right but someone misread the date and transposed the second 1 with the second 2 so that “12/21/12” SHOULD have read “12/12/12.”  That particular individual felt the world had nine less days left to it than so many others seem to believe.

All of this adds up to one sure reality:  we in law enforcement will have to deal with even greater levels of crime and stupidity than we do in a “normal” holiday season.  Stay safe.  Pay attention.  Wear your vest.  Maintain your equipment.  Back up your fellow officers and don’t hesitate to ask for back up.  Review and remember the Ten Deadly Errors and commit to avoiding them in your own behavior.  Survive the holiday season; emerge victorious in every threat encounter.

Because I was born into and raised in the Christian faith, I wish all of you a Merry Christmas as well as a safe and prosperous New Year.  I will happily accept any holiday greeting you might wish to express.


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