Let Me Sleep!!!

Frank Borelli
Editor-in-Chief
Officer.com

On rare occasion I find or read something that is just so applicable to a large group of officers and written BY an officer that I feel the need to share it. In this case a friend of mine, a police officer from a state on the east coast, works the evening shift. She works 1500-0300 regularly and fully expects that the people who know her will be courteous enough NOT to call her after she finally gets to bed at 0600 - at least not until after noon. It appears that a few folks forgot the value of sleep and she felt the need to remind them of it. Here is her rant. I'm sure many of you who have worked that shift (or midnights) can relate and appreciate. ***************** Her rant: Let's chat. Two years. No, more than two years. For more than two years I have worked nights. I work from 3 o'clock in the afternoon (when the sun is up...for the slow ones) to at LEAST 3 o'clock in the morning (IE-when you're probably sleeping). Note that I said 'at least.' I'm usually there longer. I go to bed around 6 in the morning. Why am I telling you this, you ask? Or...why are you reading this? Because I have 'friends' and associates who apparently cannot grasp the concept that calling me prior to noon is not a nice thing to do. I'm going to assume a few things from here on out. Since the majority of people I'm friends with (read: I talk to you and you're not the f******g moron I'm forced to associate with) then I know you are intelligent enough to grasp emergency v/s non-emergency. I'm hereby going to assume that if you call me prior to noon that you are having an emergency...a crisis, even. If you don't leave a message I'm going to assume you are incapable of speech and bless your heart, you called me instead of 9-1-1. So. If I show up at your place and stomp you out, it's because I thought you were 1) on fire 2) choking on something 3) needed pulling back from whatever world you are in where you are the most important thing there. Stomping on you repeatedly will, in fact, solve all three of those issues AND make me feel better. Secondly, let's define emergency. An emergency is any situation where no one BUT me can solve the problem AND (because apparently THAT is friggin common) where you cannot wait until I am awake. An emergency is not a piece of paper you cannot find at work, particularly if I don't work with you. You probably can't find it because I've held your hand for so damn long you have blurred the lines between my job and yours. An emergency is not a project due at my son's school....next week. Emergency is not, "Whatcha doing?" If you are unsure if your message qualifies as an emergency, then it's best if you have coffee delivered to my house at the same time. I'm more likely to forgive you. Note: If you are going to start the conversation with: "when you come in to work..." or "It's NOT an emergency..." or "I was thinking...." or something that implies a very FUTURE action and not immediate action, put down the phone and say to yourself, "I like Laura. I don't want her to hunt me down like wildebeest on the Seregeti. I will not call her right now." Few people are exempt. 1) If you have physical custody of my child at the time of the call, I will excuse you. 2) We are married. 3) We are family...and by that I mean we literally share deoxyribonucleic acid sequencing. To the THREE people that called me, woke me up, stammered in the phone when you realized you woke up, talked to me ANYWAY, and had not a damn thing of relevance to say...I will return the favor. Every night. Until you get the point. Now back to your regularly scheduled programming. ******************* So... how many of you have felt that way and agree with her totally? Thank you, Laura A.!!!