The phone ringing woke Max up. He started to reach for it in a hurry but the slicing pain in his side let him know that wasn’t a good idea. It was a blazing reminder that even though the staples had been removed, his wound was still healing. It irritated him beyond his ability to express. Except for the occasional stab of heat in his side if he moved wrong or too fast, he felt one hundred percent. He’d been able to do some cardio at the gym and had even managed to work arms a little. Anything that really put pressure or depended on core strength was out and that was driving him nuts too. One of the things that bothered him most was that pain medication the doctor insisted he needed to keep taking for another week made him sleep deeper than he usually did. The doctor said that was a good thing. Max hated sleeping so deep and waking up so groggy – especially at moments like this when the phone rang too many times and he was slow to answer it; and when he did answer it he sounded like he was drunk.
“Hello,” he said into the phone, although it came out sounding more like, “…Lo…?” JP’s voice on the other end woke him up like a bucket of ice in the face.
“Hi, Max. Did I wake you up?” She didn’t sound like the cheery JP Max liked to remember talking to every day. She sounded like something was wrong… and it was. They were. She had walked away. Damn his brain was moving slow and it irked him.
“Yeah, but it’s okay. I’ve been sleeping too much anyway,” Max replied. “You okay? What’s going on?”
“I just wanted to call to say hi,” JP said. “Is that okay?”
“Yeah, that’s fine,” said Max, finally feeling like he was awake, aware and alert. “I’m glad you called.” He wasn’t sure what he should say or shouldn’t say but figured he couldn’t make things any worse, so he added, “I’ve missed talking to you.”
The silence on JP’s end scared him for a moment. She took a long time in answering. “I’ve missed talking to you too,” she finally said. “But… I don’t know… I didn’t want to call and make you think… I mean…” She really didn’t know what she wanted to say. She’d called because she missed Max and the excuse of checking on him was the permission she needed to dial his number. Now here she was on the phone with him and was in an emotional battle with herself. Max could hear the stress in her voice but didn’t know what the right thing to say was to relieve it.
“Hey,” he said. “Hey… calm down. I’m glad you called. I’ve missed talking to you.” He considered his words but once again figured he had nothing to lose. “I’ve missed the sound of your voice… and I could REALLY use a nursemaid every now and then.” He added the last part with a chuckle in an attempt to lighten the moment.
JP dutifully chuckled back although she really didn’t feel in a humorous mood. It had been almost two weeks since she’d last talked to Max and she’d been a miserable mess the whole time. On the one hand she felt like she had done what she needed to do to maintain her own emotional health. On the other hand, she felt like she’d walked away from the best man she’d ever known and the one person she felt like she just couldn’t live without.
“Well,” she said, “I’m no good as a nursemaid. I’m too intolerant of people who milk their injury for sympathy.”
“Okay,” replied Max, keeping his voice light. “No milking. Got it.”
“So how are you really doing?” JP asked, her voice sounding better. Max didn’t hate her. Max was talking to her. Max wasn’t angry with her… from what she could tell.
“I’m really going nuts with all of the restrictions on my activities,” Max replied honestly. “I’m itching to get back into my gym routine and get back on the street.”
“Still on light duty?” she asked.
“Yeah… for another two weeks,” said Max. “But the Chief is putting me back to work on light duty, helping out with some investigation of a body that washed up.”
“Oh, the poisoned drowning victim,” JP said.
“I should have realized you’d know about it,” Max said. After all, JP was assigned to Beach Patrol and he was sure it would be part of their roll call information. What she said surprised him though.
“I actually found the body,” said JP. “That’s the only reason I knew it was actually a poisoning case and not a drowning case although he’s still talked about as a ‘poisoned drowning’ victim. Detective Coleman was nice enough to keep me in the loop.”
“Oh, cool,” said Max. “So if the Chief has me doing support work for Coleman on this, we’ll probably be talking fairly regularly.” Max wondered if that was why she called – to air things out before she couldn’t avoid talking to him at work.
“Yeah,” said JP. “I had heard that the Chief might put you on it until you can go back on the street in uniform.” She breathed deep before continuing. “And I didn’t want things to be weird between us when we have to work together… so I wanted to call and make sure we’re okay.” Although it was a statement, the inflection of her voice made it sound like a question.
How to answer that? Of course, they weren’t okay, thought Max. If they were okay she’d be beside him in bed and not on the phone. Then again, they were okay enough to work together because neither of them really had a choice unless one of them quit. So… how to answer her?
“We’re not as okay as I’d like for us to be,” Max said honestly. “But we’re okay enough to work together I guess.”
The silence on the phone seemed like it was way too long for Max. He could hear JP breathing on the other end and wondered what was going through her mind. By the time she’d finally figured out something to say, Max had already decided that he had more to say.
“Max, I…” JP started. Max interrupted.
“Listen, JP,” he said firmly. “I understand why you said what you said and where you’re coming from and I don’t guess I can blame you much. I wouldn’t want to get that phone call either. I wouldn’t want the Chief to come knocking on my door. But here’s the deal… I accepted that when I accepted you. I fell in love with you and that’s part of the package of YOU; the risk, the fear, the worry… all of it. I don’t like it any more than you do, but I never thought about it before you and I started dating so when I did think about it afterward I just dismissed the thoughts as undo worry. If that’s part of what I have to accept to have you in my life, then so be it.” He paused and breathed and gave JP a moment to absorb what he’d said. “But that’s MY choice. You can make a different choice and it’s apparently something you’ve thought about before. I don’t want to be the cause of stress in your life, but reality is that no matter who you have in your life, if they matter to you, they can be a source of stress and worry.”
There was more long silence on the phone but Max was determined not to say more. He’d said what was on his mind and he could keep talking but it was unnecessary and wouldn’t give her a chance to say whatever was on her mind. Finally she gave him a response.
“Thank you, Max,” she said softly, but in a strong voice. “Thank you for not hating me or being mad at me. Thank you for being willing to talk to me. I think my timing could have been better and I still am trying to sort my feelings out, but…” She paused as she tried to put the words together in her head. “But I’m glad we can talk and, if you’re willing, we can try to figure out… us.”
“Talking is never a bad thing,” Max replied. “But you’ve left me a little fuzzy on what you want or don’t want. I don’t want to call you just assuming you want to talk to me. I hate to put it this way, but the ball is kinda in your court. I am pretty clear in my head on what I want and don’t want. I’ll do whatever I can to help clear up any confusion that exists.”
“What do you want?” JP asked. She was afraid of any answer he might give, but also felt a desperate need to know.
Max didn’t have to search for words for this. “I want you back in my life, every day like you were. I want us the way we were. I want to fall asleep with you when we can, wake up next to you when we can, and enjoy each other as we used to all our free time allowed. I want us to be happy together as we were.”
“Is that all?” JP asked. There was a humorous lilt to her voice and Max knew that her question was quite loaded. She meant it as if to say that he put so simply something she felt so complicated about at the moment.
“That’s all,” he said. “Nothing major – just us, the way we were.” Then he had a thought and chuckled before adding, “But come to think of it, WE were pretty major.”
JP chuckled too and then got quiet a second before she said, “Max, bear with me. What you want… There’s a huge part of me that wants it too, but there’s an equally huge part of me that is very afraid of the emotional… fragility that comes with it. Be patient with me?”
“Of course,” said Max, as if there was nothing wrong. “I love you. How else can I be?” He was dearly hoping to hear her say those seemingly simple words back, but knew she wouldn’t until she’d cleared up whatever turmoil existed in her head and heart.
“Thank you, Max,” JP said. “I appreciate your understanding and I’m sorry if I hurt you.”
“Hurt me?” Max joked. “You’re not the one who shot me. Now THAT hurt.”
“It hurt that I didn’t shoot you?” JP joked back, glad to have the moment lightened, but Max turned it serious again with his answer.
“I think I’d rather have been shot again,” he said. “That hurt less. I can’t bear the thought of losing you,” he finished.
“Ouch,” said JP. “I’m sorry. I didn’t meant to hurt you and I knew what I was doing… but I was… and still am… so scared…” Her voice broke as her feelings of fear overwhelmed her.
“I suck at trying to comfort you over the phone,” Max said. “If you were hear you could just cry on my shoulder.”
“I know,” JP said with a sniffle. “I want to be there. I really do, Max.”
“Well, ‘here’ isn’t moving quick,” he said. “Come on over and lay your head on my shoulder. You just have to wash my shirt if you snot all over me.”
THAT made JP giggle. “I can’t come over right now,” she said. “I have to get ready for work.”
It was only then that Max realized just how early in the day that it was. No wonder he’d been groggy waking up. It was barely after sunrise. JP was on day work. It wasn’t even five in the morning yet.
“Jesus, woman,” Max said, the humor obvious in his voice, “don’t you know better than to wake a man up this early on the phone?”
Now it was JP’s turn to joke back. She felt better about everything even though she was still scared deep inside. “There’s another way you’d rather have me wake you up so early?” she asked, knowing full well what the answer was.
“I’m sure we could figure something out,” said Max, keeping his voice light. “But first you have to wake up here in the morning.”
JP struggled with what to say. Her heart and her head were screaming at each other but her feelings for Max steadily won out over her fear of losing him on the street. “How about tomorrow morning?” she asked, the worry and concern in her voice very obvious.
“Sounds great,” said Max. “But are you going to randomly show up in the middle of the night? Or are you actually going to be here this evening and fall asleep next to me?”
“How about I make you dinner?” JP suggested. “Then we can figure out after that after that.”
“Sounds great,” Max said. “Now go get ready for work. I’ll be in today as well, although I wasn’t given a specific time to report. Maybe I’ll run into you working this poisoned drowning case.”
“I hope so,” JP said feeling better as the seconds passed. “If not, I’ll see you about six?”
“I’ll make sure I’m home by then,” said Max. “I love you, woman.”
This time JP didn’t hesitate in her reply. “I love you too, Max.”
“Bye for now,” he said before hanging up. He mostly ignored the twinge in his side as he got out of bed faster than he had on any recent morning and headed for the shower. He needed a shave and a haircut but the haircut would have to wait. He hadn’t worn a suit to work in a long time but he would be today as he reported to Detective Coleman for his light duty assignment.
- - - - - - - - - -
“The poison is actually pretty commonplace,” Nickie told Detective Coleman. As the Medical Examiner’s senior assistant and forensic pathologist, Nicolette “Nickie” Benson was the person most of Oceanside PD’s detectives interacted with. “There are way too many potential sources for you to easily track down one, especially since this isn’t the only body in the case now.”
That got Detective Coleman’s attention. “You know about the body in North Carolina?”
“Yes,” said Nickie. She knew this was a potential source of aggravation for Coleman. No detective liked having their case snaked or trampled. The only way Nickie would know about the other body is if someone from North Carolina called her directly about it – which amounted to going around Coleman – which was the potential equivalent of trampling on his case. “Some Coast Guard investigator named Griggs called me.”
“He did, huh,” said Coleman. It wasn’t a question. It was a statement. Those few words said, “What the hell is this guy doing calling you? He knows better. I thought he was a good guy. Now it looks like I’m going to have to call and put him in his place.”
“He did,” replied Nickie. “But he didn’t call asking for information.” She knew what Coleman was thinking and he was wrong. “He called to let me know what the poison was that they’d identified in the North Carolina case and to ask if there was a match. He also offered assistance if our lab didn’t have needed capabilities.”
“I see,” said Coleman. She could tell he still wasn’t satisfied but that wasn’t her problem. “So he called offering assistance and sharing information?”
“Yep,” was her short reply.
“Okay,” said Coleman. “Do me a favor: if he calls back, direct him to me please?”
“Sure thing,” Nickie said. “I don’t think he meant any harm. He sounded like he was genuinely trying to work with us.”
“Got it,” said Coleman. “Call me if anything else comes up?”
“Yep,” she replied again and then hung up.
Coleman set the phone in its cradle and sat back to ponder the case. As he was thinking, Max walked into his office. They’d met before but hadn’t really worked much together. Coleman looked up at the young officer as he approached the detective’s desk.
“Detective Coleman?” Max asked, standing straight and looking down at the much older detective.
Coleman just looked at him for a moment without a word. He leaned forward and reached over his desk to pick up the name placard that sat at the forward edge, facing out. He picked it up, turned it around to look at it, and then put it back in its place. Then, looking up at Max he said, “If you have to ask that, you’re really not going to do me any good with this investigation.”
Max liked this guy. Too many older officers were grumpy and had no sense of humor. This guy had one… but it wasn’t obvious. He SEEMED grumpy but Max could somehow feel the sense of humor that lurked beneath the surface. “You’re probably right,” he said, keeping his face serious. “After all, no one has ever sat at someone else’s desk before and it’s completely impolite to just assume who someone is.”
Coleman didn’t crack a smile. This young man was going to be fun. “You some kind of smart ass or something?”
“Or something,” said Max, keeping his face passive.
Finally Coleman broke out in a smile and stood up offering his hand. “Detective Dick Coleman,” he said as he did so.
“Glad you have your name placard to remind you,” said Max, as he took and shook the man’s hand, smiling back at him. “PFC Max Breaklin.”
“You familiar with the case?” asked Coleman releasing Max’s hand.
“Not so much,” replied Max honestly. “I’ve been out a couple weeks and the Chief’s office assigned me here to assist while I’m on light duty. I haven’t even seen the file although I understand it originally looked like a drowning but ended up being a poisoning?”
“That’s right,” said Coleman as he reached for the appropriate binder. He handed it to Max and said, “You can get acquainted with that. Go through it carefully. If anything seems out of place to you, make a note about it. A fresh set of eyes always sees something my old eyes might have missed.”
“Got it,” said Max, taking the file.
Coleman pointed to an empty desk and told Max he could use it for however long he’d be assigned. As Max stepped over to the desk, Coleman added, “And tomorrow morning don’t be so damned late.” Max chuckled to himself. It was just a few minutes after eight o’clock. Tomorrow morning, barring unforeseen circumstance, he’d be in by seven and see what time Coleman rolled in. Then he remembered that he’d be waking up with JP in the morning and decided he might not make it in until eight after all.
Discuss Episode 5:4 (this episode) on our forums
Editor’s Notes & Officer Survival Concerns
Episode 5:4 forum link
Officer Survival & other comments on Episode 5:4:
We’d like to thank our sponsor, Elbeco, for supporting this on-going fiction crime-drama. Check out their full line of uniforms and apparel on their website.
Officer Survival & other comments on Episode 5:3:
With the end of spring and launch of summer there are usually a lot of bar openings, special events on beaches, etc. They all bring with them particular risks and threats that we can only avoid or minimize so much. Temptation grows to play hero, lone gunman, whatever. Remember the Ten Deadly Errors and stay on your guard. The imperative is going home whole and healthy at the end of your shift.
Officer Survival & other comments on Episode 5:2:
No officer survival comments on this one except this: We ALL have emotional turmoil that enters our life. It IS very distracting. We can’t safely work distracted like that. Talk to someone if that’s where you are in your head. Get it sorted out. DO NOT go to work that distracted and unfocused. It can get you killed.
Officer Survival & other comments on Episode 5:1:
Few outside our profession can relate to the fears and complications associated with any shooting situation. They’re not usually aware of how politics can impact police work in all the wrong ways. As we can see in this story, the significant other (JP) of an injured officer (Max) is having her doubts about the relationship due to her own fears of lost stability. We also get to listen in on the conversation between the Mayor and the Chief and see how their concerns are different. Be that as it may, the Mayor’s concerns WILL impact how the Chief acts or reacts because ultimately he answers to the Mayor. Please remember to visit our supporter for this episode: Elbeco Uniforms. Great products to cover you in all your uniform needs.
