Fighting Fair, Part I

Conflict is inevitable in even the healthiest of relationships, and sometimes you are going to fight. The trick is to fight fairly, lovingly, and supportively… even when you both just KNOW you are right.

Second, as a police couple you likely face additional challenges that largely come directly from the training, experience, and inherent qualities the LEO partner brings to the table.  Police officers have a unique job that allows them the opportunity - and expectation - to be assertive, blunt, and to sometimes aggressively call people out on their behavior.  Cops are usually very carefully screened before ever being hired, chosen for their assertiveness and the will to confront those who need confronting, and those qualities are further honed through training and experience.  Over time most cops become rather no-nonsense and physically and mentally tough.   Sometimes, however, this appears (or truly is) uncompromising.  Through in a strong dose of self-assuredness and all these traits that are so valuable on the street begin to cause strife at home.  To succeed in a relationship requires you be able to view the challenges of the home-front much differently from those of the street and soften you stance accordingly.  How many of your colleagues' relationships have you seen crumble?  And how many of those relationships broke under the unique strains created because one or both partners were cops?

This is the Part I of Fighting Fair, intended to make you start thinking about what challenges you might face as one half of a police couple.  As we conclude with Part II we will bring solid strategies to help you build a framework for fighting fair that, if you follow and do correctly, enable both partners to be and feel heard, solve problems and disagreements, and usually never even feel like they were fighting in the first place!


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