I heard of a study that was done some time ago that revealed something surprising about stress. It involved three groups of rats. The first group was kept stress-free. They had everything a rat could want: plenty of space, food, companionship, toys, and so forth. Life was good in Rat Land for Group One.
The second group was subjected to stress in the form of an electric shock. It did not damage them, but it was unpleasant and distressed them. It was random; they could not predict when it would happen. It varied in duration, so once it began there was no telling how long it would last. It ran through the floor of the entire cage, so they couldn't escape it. Their life was stressful.
The third group was subjected to the same stress, but was given the means to stop the shock. There was a red button in the cage. The rats were trained to hit the button when the current started, which interrupted the circuit. Life was stressful for Group Three, but they had control that Group Two lacked.
After a certain amount of time living under these conditions, the rats were examined and their physical health measured. To no one's surprise, the stressed rats were the unhealthiest. The surprise of the study lay in which were the healthiest. It was not the stress-free group, but the group trained to use the red button. The researchers concluded that it is not stress that diminishes health, but helplessness in the face of stress.
This is an important finding! How many stressors are there in police work? You never know, when you begin your shift, if you are going to be holding a dead baby before your work day is through, or if you or a colleague is going to be the target of some violence, or be involved in a traffic accident. You must deal with the politics of your community and your department. You often must deal with the ignorance of those who have believed the false portrayal of cops put forth in the media. You do not know when you are going to be served with papers informing you that you are being sued for some action you took professionally. Police work is full of stressors. It is essential for you to find the "red button" in your cage! The good news is there are some very important aspects of your life that are under your control, if you will take control of them and not let them slide.
One of the very biggest sources of support and de-stressing available to you is your family and friends. It is essential that you keep those connections strong. If you remember back to your beginning years as a cop, you will probably remember your enthusiasm, your eagerness, your idealism. Many new recruits jump into police work with both feet, grabbing all the overtime they can get, wanting to spend their off time with other cops, submersing themselves in their new world. Old interests and old friends may pale by comparison. As the new cop begins to experience the "us/them" reality of the work, family and old friends may even slide into the "them" category.
You can't put relationships on automatic pilot and walk away from them. Well, actually you can, and many do, but they are not likely to be fully functioning when you finally decide to return to them. Experienced cops know that the enthusiasm of the recruit's early years does not usually last. Too many cops, when they realize they need more in their life than law enforcement, turn to their old friends and find those relationships have withered on the vine. Too many cops find their spouse has emotionally checked out, if indeed the marriage is still intact at all. Too many find their children bear resentments that their officer mom or dad was always more available to others than to the family. And yet, these connections are under your control; your chief, your union or FOP, your department policies cannot provide you with strong family and friend connections, if you will not work to provide them for yourself.
Physical health is another red button. You are in control of your diet and exercise. You are the one who decides to light up or to pour yourself a drink. There are challenges of course: interrupted meals, sleep disturbance due to shift work, etc; and yet, with effort these challenges can be dealt with; their impact lessened; your work environment improved. You can pack a healthy lunch, instead of snarfing a burger. You can schedule some work-out time at the gym or using home equipment. You can get help to stop smoking. You take your physical health (or lack thereof) on every single call you respond to. It is working for you or it is working against you, and there are already enough things working against you! Again, it is something no one can do for you if you will not do it for yourself.
Likewise your spiritual health: are things well with your soul? How is it with you and God, these days? That relationship also does not do well on automatic pilot. In the same way that you take your physical health or lack thereof into every call, you also carry your spiritual life everywhere. It can be giving you a sense of direction, strength, courage and comfort, or it can be telling you that it is all pointless. Your soul - your control - no one can heal or strengthen it in spite of you.
The "red button rats" were even healthier than the unstressed rats - and you, for all the stress in your work, can become even healthier than those who know nothing of the horrors and aggravations you face. With your ringside seat on life, you can become wise and strong, truly noble. But you'd better find that red button, and learn to use it because it is a rough world out there.
