Looking For A Date?

Finding the right person at the right time and the right place can set you up for dating success

Be careful, though. Not all hunting grounds are equally good. To illustrate, consider the following and why they may or may not be good places to meet attractive singles:

Local church - GOOD
N.A. 12-step group in basement of that church - MAYBE NOT SO GOOD

Health club - GOOD
Gentleman's club - BAD

Bookstores – YES
Booking - NO

Class at local college - VERY GOOD
Class at local high school - VERY, VERY BAD!!
(Unless you are an SRO and target subject is a teacher, then GOOD)

Hunting, Fishing and Outdoor convention - GOOD
Scrapbooking convention - YEA, LIKE YOU WOULD BE CAUGHT DEAD THERE

Be Sure It is YOU Being Dated, and Not Just the COP

Whether known as badge bunnies or cop groupies or some other name, certain people attracted predominantly to police officers and the law enforcement world are nothing new. There may not be anything wrong with women or men who desire a relationship with a cop, but it is still good to be sure whoever you date is dating you and not your badge, position, authority, or what they can gain from the relationship.

If possible, get to know each other and see if there is interest before even revealing what you do. Otherwise, work hard to put WHO you are into the relationship rather than WHAT you are. Sound easy? You may be surprised at how much your profession has become a part of you, so remaining multidimensional is all the more important. Staying well-rounded will help sustain a relationship when the work aspect of your life strains it.

Learn from Your Dating Mishaps

One technique cops use to stay alive is to be aware of the mistakes that have gotten other officers killed or injured. We recently spent two days at a survival seminar where we viewed video after video of officers making fatal missteps. It was painful and heart wrenching to watch, but what it teaches us is what not to do next time. Be firm in your commands, watch the hands, the safest place to secure someone is on the ground, always assume the plus one rule of another weapon, etc... Watching these tapes is a harsh dose of reality, but a needed one, especially for veteran officers so that they can evaluate bad habits they have developed that could give the bad guy the wrong opportunity.

For cops, evaluating skills as a police officer and their survival skills is routine because your number one job is to go home at the end of the day in the same condition you started your shift, however, do you do this in your life outside of the job? When was the last time you evaluated your dating skills? Are you crashing and burning? Having success? What are your bad habits and fatal flaws? Do you attract psychos and crazies or are they healthy and functional? Do they say yes to a second date or are they not returning calls, texts, and emails? If you want honest feedback, ask friends and coworkers about the people you date and they will tell you your dating mishaps that are keeping you single. Learn from your mistakes.

Dating can be hard. If you are single and searching, or some day may be, or you know someone who is, approaching dating intelligently and with insight will increase your odds of relational success.

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