Cops Who Date, Pt 3

From six months until the engagement, how do you build a dating relationship that will survive?

Reveal family dysfunctions and craziness

Another important step is to discuss the families we grew up in, whether good, bad, or the ugly, since that experience influenced who we are today. Find the commonalities and the areas that are unique. Make sure you like your partner's family because if you build a life together they will be involved unless there is total estrangement.

Seek honest feedback from family and friends

Simply put, go to three to five trusted family and friends and ask what they think about your current relationship. Do not get defensive or justify what others do not like in this person, but look at is as areas that require special attention. Do the work now to see if these areas of conflict can be ironed out or if they are differences that are irreconcilable. Better to know now than when you are going through the $20,000 divorce with everyone telling you, yeah, I never really liked that _________.

Discuss the big topics

Talk about all the big things such as finances, religion, morals, values, child rearing, ethics, conflict resolution, what defines cheating, and most importantly educate your partner on the realities of being a possible police spouse. Make sure your possible forever person can endure your life style as a LEO and they are happy making the sacrifices needed in order to survive the long haul.

Remain dating

Remember at this stage you are still dating and not the forever couple. You are still trying one on for size to see if you are a match. Continue to keep your friends, hobbies, and outside activities. Do not move so fast it already seems like your married. You will lose your objectivity and possibly pick the wrong person.

In the cycle of relationships it takes two years to get to know someone. Nowadays when people are dating they tend to think they have each other mastered in a few months up to as short as a few days. Take your time so that you build survival skills that last a lifetime.

For more advice on dating check out our past two articles linked below.

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