Infidelity has gone mainstream.
Once the domain of paparazzi journalism, the guilty-pleasure rags you might casually flip through waiting in a checkout line, celebrity indiscretions have become real news. Tiger Woods' image shattered late last year and has dominated headlines on and off since, but his is neither the first nor last case of celebrity cheating to make recent news. Letterman, Kobe, MJ, Pitt, and now even The Boss are all sports or entertainment figures who need no further identification and who are either confirmed or rumored cheaters, past and present. Sandra Bullock was still wondering where to put the Oscar when her husband's indiscretions hit the press (probably giving her a couple fresh ideas of where to put it).
And if even Bill Clinton could not hide an intern under a desk, you would think other politicians might learn a thing or two. Negative! Elliot Spitzer could not hide his hooker, John Edwards, his baby, or Mark Sandford, his mistress (even in a completely different hemisphere!).
So what do philandering celebs, jocks, and politicians have to do with you? How does the world of the rich, famous, and high profile intersect with that of working cops? Well, maybe not in many ways, but the threat and devastation of infidelity is real to both. In this article we will be looking at some of the common - but often unique - dynamics that bring the threat of cheating to law enforcers' relationships.
What do law enforcement officers have in common with the likes of the above celebrities? Probably more than you might think. Driven, take-charge, risk-taking alpha personalities are prominent among those who rise to the top in business, sports, and entertainment. They are also prominent, even necessary, in cops. And they may also make you more likely to have an affair. Alpha personalities exhibit traits of confidence, athleticism, and leadership abilities. They can take charge of a crisis, tend to have financial stability, and are often charismatic. These traits, especially in men, are very attractive to the opposite sex. For women, this cuts the dating pool significantly because most likely you will find beta personalities unattractive, ruling out the majority of potential partners. Another reason alpha personalities may be prone to affairs is they often have some traits of narcissism that feed the belief they are too smart to be caught in an indiscretion. Or they believe even if they are caught, they will have the charisma to charm their way out of it. Alpha personalities often believe others will not leave them, so the risks of an affair may not be a deterrent.
Power and Proximity
Power is the ultimate aphrodisiac - Henry Kissinger
Countless people, across all professions, can thank power and status, real or perceived, for their amorous success. Think about it. Supervisor and subordinate, professor and student, athlete and fan, politician and page. Many times the attraction and feelings are based on all the things that make for good, healthy relationships, sure; but very often they are based on an attraction to the power or status the boss, teacher, jock, or politician holds. In that event, there is at least a real attraction to something about the person. But sometimes the subordinate, student, fan, or page is altogether uninterested in the person, or even the power and status of their position, and is instead cynically focused on what can be gained personally from the relationship.
And as the police you are living, breathing, and accessible representations of power and status! For some admirers, the authority of the job is key; the power is an aphrodisiac. For others, perhaps someone you have helped or protected, or even just treated with kindness, gratitude turns to admiration and attraction. And for yet others, cozying up to a cop is a means to an end; the officer and relationship are merely tools to be kept for future benefit.