It Is A Man's World

We're a family, remember? A big, weird, wonderful group of brothers and sisters who need each other in order to not just survive, but to thrive in this adventure we've chosen as a career.


The Sensitive Generation.
The male youngsters we call Generation Y and The Millennials have been primarily raised by women, taught by women, and have generally been socialized to be more sensitive. While empathy and compassion are wonderful traits in human beings in general, and cops in particular, being overly sensitive can cause a young cop big problems. These are the guys who were told that competition is bad (everyone gets a trophy because everyone is a winner), we are all special, and conflict is counter-productive. At the same time, their sisters were being taught you can be anything you want to be but allowances will be made.

We're now finding out that as adults, these kids, both male and female, may have some difficulty adjusting to the para-military, life is not fair world of law enforcement. Women need to understand not just gender differences, but generational and social differences and how all of this relates to good police work. Look, when an old-timer like me says to one of you rookies Man Up, Kid, I'm not being sexist. Man Up (or if you're in the West, Cowboy Up) is a non gender-specific term that can be directed at either sex, and it basically means quit being a baby and go be a cop. As women, we need to help our brothers navigate the often-confusing world of male/female roles in and out of the workplace. I've generally found men to be pretty straightforward, and when we clue them in we also make it easier on ourselves.

Don't Dis' Your Sisters.
I know plenty of female cops who would rather work with all men than work with (or train, supervise or manage) other women. I understand that, but I certainly don't agree with it. Men are undoubtedly more what you see is what you get than women are. Women's relationships tend to be more complicated, even with our co-workers. In the training environment, we often psych ourselves out over simple deficiencies.

There are reasons for all of these differences, so in addition to studying men, women also need to study themselves. Know how and why the female brain is different; know how we communicate most effectively; how we deal with risk; how we perform under stress. Make sure you're not operating under the old queen bee syndrome. As female cops, we spend so much time trying to get along in a mostly male world that once we have it figured out for ourselves, we can be pretty intolerant of those who are still struggling. Dr. Lillian Glass, author of the book Toxic People discovered that 40% of women who had been bullied in the work place had been victimized by other women. This is not acceptable in any profession! We need to reach out not only to our brothers, but to each other. We're a family, remember? A big, weird, wonderful group of brothers and sisters who need each other in order to not just survive, but to thrive in this adventure we've chosen as a career.



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