Love in Spite of Fear

After I experienced the first loss of an officer on my husband’s department, I responded to my fear and worry by shutting him out. I put up huge walls when I was around him feeling like I could protect myself from the pain of losing him.


Surrender the Outcome

I read once, There are not mistakes in God's world. Give your best to the present, support your law enforcement officer, live in the love of the moment and trust in his or her training and ability to handle most situations. There are those events that will be out of his or her control, such as a drunk driver or a criminal hell bent on not going to jail. The only thing that keeps me sane is believing if the worst were to happen that somehow I would survive and that a reason would exist even if I don't understand it in this life. Life is out of my hands. I can either enjoy it and the people traveling this journey with me or I can fight against it trying to control the outcome. I have to stop and ask, "Is there anything I can do to change what might happen when he is out on the street?" The answer is always no. I can only change how I think about what he is doing, who he is as a person and what he means to me. These thoughts influence my feelings and I realize my serenity increases when I let go of the belief I can somehow solve what might or might not happen when he is at work.

It's a bit unusual to think of loving an officer as a form of risk-taking, but in reality, and as this year's bloody beginning is showing, it is. The 14th Dalai Lama commented that great love and great achievements involve great risk. I like to look at loving an officer in this way. Also, we don't have to do it on our own. Talk to and use a support network; family, friends and of course, each other. Transform worry into a positive action, such as making a special dinner, writing love notes to each other or making love. Live in the present and enjoy each other.



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