The Three Year Old Boy
Frank Borelli
Editor-in-Chief
Officer.com
Every now and then something happens that really sticks in my craw. Last week, several things happened like that. As the news media reported on all of the events Surrounding the arrest of Professor Gates in Cambridge, President Obama got involved, and I found a plethora of blogs online criticizing Sgt. Crowley for being prejudiced or racial, all too often with the added comment of like every other cop. Fate is fickle but sometimes quite timely. As things work out, I received an email just this morning regarding an event that occurred just yesterday (July 26th, 2009) reflecting on an experience he had.
I wanted to share this article / email for several reasons:
- It shows that cops can be deeply affected by events they experience or witness in the course of their duties.
- In this case in particular, the emotions inspired by the event weren’t affected by or divided by racial differences.
- Above all else, cops are human too! We can hurt and grieve just like everyone else.
Here is the piece as it was sent to me:
DATELINE: Boca Raton, FL
Sunday, July 26, 2003I met a little boy I’ll never forget today at about 2:45PM.
Terrance seemed a pleasant youngster of about 3 years old. He was unusually quiet and our meeting was quite by chance.
While heading southbound on I-95 at Glades road, en route to see a friend from the National Law Enforcement Officers Memorial (Washington DC) who was visiting in Pampano Beach, my wife and I encountered a Chevy trailblazer. It was lying on its passenger side in the gore at the south bound exit ramp to Glades Rd. The Chevy had come to rest only seconds prior to our arrival.
I stopped our car in the freeway gutter and carefully made my way across the road as traffic began to back up.
There was an adult black male lying face down on the asphalt roadway. He was moaning, and bleeding from the spot where the back of his skull met the windshield. He was alert and conversational. Though very uncomfortable, he appeared to be in no real danger. I told him to lie very still until help arrived.
There were two adult black females, one of which was hysterically out of control which was creating havoc and unrest in the others who were part of the situation. I worked hard to calm her down. From the corner of my eye, I saw another off-duty officer tending to a small child lying on the grass. Both of the females were bleeding from multiple locations on their bodies, but there was nothing that was life threatening on either of them. I finally got the hysterical one under control.
Check list:
- Anymore injuries? No.
- Has 911 been called? Many times, by many people.
- How long has it been? It seemed like an hour, but it was only about 5 minutes.
- Situational awareness: Traffic is now really backing up and there is some concern of a second crash amongst the gawkers.
- Is everyone still breathing? Yes
The other officer said he notified the fire department of a trauma alert on the little boy. Initially, the child was not breathing. However, breathing resumed and his heart rate was strong. Oddly though, he laid there in total silence without so much as a whimper for his mom or dad.
It was then that I met Terrance.
I knelt along side him. I did not want him to move. I talked with him. I told him that his family would be okay. He looked wide-eyed at me, but said nothing. I touched his hand and tried to reassure him that all would be okay. Help was on the way – we could hear the sirens as the crew raced their way to us.
It was now time to hold everything steady until the paramedics arrived, which they did. The other officer and I briefed the arriving crew. We told the cops what they needed to know and helped to get some of the stopped drivers back on their way.
Yup, it’s a bit of an adrenaline rush. But, as cops are known to do – we came on a problem and handled it to the best of our abilities. Again I was reminded that we don’t have the luxury of standing on the sidelines when things go sideways. We’re always in the game.
I was tired and went to bed around 10:00PM. My wife came to bed after watching the 11:00PM news. The news reporter said that Terrance died at the hospital a few hours after the crash. When she told me, I felt like I had been kicked in the groin and sucker-punched in the gut at the same time.
I have just now read the on-line report. Seemingly, the adults in this boy’s life didn’t care enough to have him in a seatbelt or any kind of child restraint. He was ejected from the Trailblazer as it rolled over.
This hurts. My cop exterior has been burnished with service in a metropolitan area. Adults screw-up all the time and (usually) get what they deserve. Harming a child pierces that armor like a hot knife through butter.
Terrance deserved more. Every child does.
I feel anger at his parents for being significant contributors to his death. Yet, I cannot imagine the pain of losing a child – or grandchild. The cop in me wants to fix this. I want to say something profound and make it all better. I want to take control and turn back the clock so that it doesn’t happen. But alas, I cannot.
I met a 3 year old boy named Terrance today.
He was a wonderful young boy. He is back in God’s hands now. May God have mercy on those responsible for this tragic turn of events.
For me: I will spend some time pondering the meaning of it all and then get back in the saddle. Please keep that family in your prayers. They need them now, more than ever.
When I read that this morning - and then spoke to the author on the phone - it was blatantly obvious how deeply grieved he was that he couldn’t save that little boy’s life. After all, he’s only human. He can’t turn back the clock. He can’t change past events. He can’t bring that boy back to life. As much as he’d like to do any or all of those things - he’s only human.
Perhaps… just perhaps… the next time someone feels the need to criticize the police for some perceived slight, they should take a moment to consider experiences like this. Cops deal with this for the entire span of their 20, 25, 30 or more year career. How many people, so quick to criticize, can deal with it once or twice? How willing are they to have the courage and intestinal fortitude to deal with it for a significant portion of their life?
Share this story with your family and friends. Someone send it to Sgt. Crowley, Professor Gates and President Obama. Cops are heroes every day of their lives on the job. How do we manage to forget that?
Our prayers are with Terrance and his family. I’ve said for years police officers and fire fighters are not given enough credit and compensation what they do. To me Professor Gates is a racist and there is nothing that can be done about that. However, Sgt. Crowley has done more than prove himself. Look at his credentials.
Thanks for this one. I’ve not been a Police Officer very long, but I’ve learned quickly that the general public is very fickle. I’ve had a few “three year old boy” stories myself, we all have, and they always hurt…
Thanks for the article. I can relate. We just had a crash like this about a month ago. Mom was drunk at 2am. Rolled her car over. She had her seatbelt on. Her kids, ages 3, 5, and 6 had no seat belt or car seat. Two of them cracked their skulls. Mom was trated and released. The sight of the three year old lying on the road sticks with you.
Prayers,
BTW, all the kids were released from the hospital after about a week.
On a different but related note: a friend sent an image of Sgt. Crowley with Prof. Gates at the White House, just after their beer with the President. Here’s what he wrote:
“Evidently Gates, who walks with a cane, had a little difficulty with the stairs. It looks to me like Crowley had the natural cop’s instinct–to help.”
As for the email you received… a different friend has sent me two similar. In one case a teenager died in a wreck not far from his home, and he was on scene. Not being able to help the kid hurt. Being asked why not, by his own teenage son, stuck the blade in deeper. This is a guy who never seems to take anything seriously… but it’s just armor. Underneath is raw.
I want to say I wish more people could see that, but at the same time I know: human nature being what it is, if more did see it, they’d take total advantage of it. All the more important for cops to find people, other cops or not, they know they can trust to help take some of the burden… even just by listening.
That Professor Gates should go stick his head in a bucket. What a disgrace to the human race.
It seems very unlikely but even black folks like Gates who is very educated, will not hesitate to use the race card. He is not the first one and certainly will not be the last. Shame on Obama for weighting in on the issue without ascertaining the facts of the case. The price of inexperience. But then what can you expect from an impostor? What is happening to graduates of Harvard? Gates, Tim Kaine, Alberto Gonzales and Obama, to name a few. It seems like their producing more idiots than scholars. I’ll shut up if Obama shows me his birth certificate.
A-Men!!!
I have to say I deal with this stuff allot. It seems that Mayor Daley’s (Chicago) Urban renewal projects include a train ticket from the city to my suburb (I am a firefighter/paramedic) where they have taken $300,000-$400,000 townhomes and made them section 8 for $30.00 a month. I live a modest existence, I have a 30 year old home in a nice neighborhood with sidewalks and big trees over the road and good neighbors of every race. My 2 kids are young and enjoy their mom being home every day to take care of them. I would have to say I am pretty close to the “American Dream,” and I even have the dog, I even love my job and being able to help people, no matter who or what you are. I belong to organizations like the Shriners who have over 20 hospitals that provide FREE medical care to children. I feel I do my part for civilization, even going to my neighbors house when they need help before the fire/medics can arrive. There has been a lot of talk recently in my area of racial profiling and unfair practices both by the police and fire/medics and it is very quickly making me a racist if that is what you want to call me. It seems all so easy to play a race card rather than take responsibility for yourself or your own kids. Every day I see kids of all races jumping around in cars as their parents drive to the store. One fatal accident in the area recently involved a child in a child seat. Unfortunately, the mother was intoxicated, driving the wrong way on a freeway and even though the child was strapped into the child seat, the seat was not secured to the vehicle seat (I think most can finish filling in the details without any more help). I have been attacked by family members of a patient that I transported to the hospital because they have had a fatal heart attack at home. It seems that because I am of a different skin color and only shocked their family member one time, “they do it 3 times on T.V. and save them” is all I heard before this guy jumped over a counter with a knife in his hand and I have to assume his intentions were to mortally wound me (by the time I was done defending myself, he was unable to speak anything resembling the English language, more like a dull mumble). My police friends tell me stories about pulling people over at 3AM and being called racists and accused of profiling. If profiling means investigating a vehicle that is swerving, or meets the description suspect vehicle involved in a crime or speeding, so be it. Just because a there are certain types of people constantly up and causing trouble when everyone else is getting rest for the coming work day, and those people are constantly having meetings with law enforcement, defines racism, so be it. How about the grandparents minding their own business in their own home, that answer a knock at the door at 2PM only to be beaten with a baseball bat within inches of their lives. Why is that not racism or a hate crime? The assailants didn’t take anything, just beat the heck out of them, for fun. Had grandma pulled a gun and killed one of them in self defense though, wow could you imagine the news time that would get. That brings up an interesting subject doesn’t it, why in the cities and towns that have the unconstitutional hand gun bans, have the highest crime rates? Maybe matching the homeless and public aid leeches with the unemployment problem crime would decrease a little. Certain people choose to live in certain areas and lead certain lives, regardless of race or origin. We all make and should be held accountable for your own decisions. I did not make you drink a case of beer before driving your kids home. I didn’t buy you the bottle of Vodka before you decided to walk down the train tracks. I didn’t make you have kids that you cannot support, I am not responsible for the education of your child. If you don’t like the education available from school district your kids are in, move and pay the taxes for the district where you want the kids to attend. I am sick of the race cards!
I am responsible for myself and my children. I pay for what they need and supply them with some luxury things the best I can. I pay my mortgage and have never been late on a bill that I got myself into. I have friends neighbors and acquaintances from all walks of life that I would trust my life with. If someone or a certain group of people choose to make decisions and act certain ways and I choose to distance myself and family from those types of people, so be it. If I apply that general idea perception so someone walking up my driveway and choose to meet them at the door with a gun and that makes me a racist, then that’s what I am. If you don’t like this country, then get the *@#! out!, oh and don’t hate me, I didn’t bring you here (read a history book). If you cannot afford the house or vehicle, don’t buy it. I am not bailing you out because you can’t make good decisions. You want a better life and to be a functionally contributing member of society and be able to have nice things, don’t do drugs, do what the police ask you to and figure it out later if there is a mistake, they are only doing their job.
My prayers go to the family of Terrence. May those directly responsible for not securing this child in a seatbelt reflect on their decisions and learn and go forward.
For Brian in Chicago who posted on August 3 at 11:35 AM, you are the very reason I highly respect law enforcement officers. I have been very fortunate in my adult life to experience first hand the careful nature and absolute professionalism from police officers. I applaud you on your direct and professional commentary. Our society needs a wakeup call and you just became an alarm clock. Thank you and be safe. Eric in Minneapolis
My heart and prayers go to the family of 3 year old Terrance. I am currently a Child Safety Seat Technician and try to prevent this kind of thing from happening. Unfortunately, there are those that still see it as a bother to correctly buckle their children. I currently work in law enforcement and have 3 children of my own. As a parent, I could not live with myself knowing I was responsible for my child’s death with my own stupidity or laziness.