Officer.com Police Blogs & Podcasts

Frank Borelli
Editor-in-Chief
Officer.com

Mentor:

1. A wise and trusted counselor or teacher.
2. To serve as a trusted counselor or teacher.

Welcome to April; the beginning of spring – a time for new growth from what has been dormant since fall. Pardon the reach, but isn’t this something new growing from that which is old? Last year’s maturity being passed into this year’s youth? Throughout the ages this has been a path of education, wisdom – and to some extent – likes and dislikes. Yet here I sit, as a man who has served in one uniform or another for more than 25 years now, and as I look back there are only one or two mentors I remember having. Why is that?

Here’s what I think: I think that the days where our society in general recognizes the value in mentoring, coaching, or offering guidance are waning. Why would that be? I’m not entirely sure, but I am sure that it’s not a good thing. Think back…

There have been and are professions that require apprenticeship. Electricians, air conditioning / heating, brick masons, stone masons… they all require apprenticeship. The priesthood and law enforcement require apprenticeship, but under different names. I went to a private Catholic high school run by the Trinitarians. Brothers had made a commitment but weren’t ordained yet (they weren’t “Fathers”). Does that make them apprentices of sorts? I believe so. Many agencies have a cadet program, and even those that don’t usually have a Field Training Officer program. Such programs require new or not-yet officers to work under the tutelage of an experienced officer. Is this not apprenticeship?

Here’s the kicker for me – a light bulb moment if you will: My sons grow under my tutelage; my direction. They learn values, belief structure, right and wrong, and judgment (God help them) under my guidance. Is this not apprenticeship? Are they not learning how to become men?

I find it humorous that my youngest son – at the grand old age of ten – loves Star Wars and the idea of Jedi Knights, but he absolutely doesn’t like it if I call him “padawan” (another name for the student or apprentice Jedi Knight in Star Wars). He adores learning, but doesn’t like to admit that he doesn’t know everything. Maybe this is a result of his age. Maybe it’s an outlook he’s learned for me (I already asked for God to help him above, remember?). Maybe it’s representative of an outlook shared by many and if it is a societal outlook, I believe it may be denying us potentially great training and wisdom.

When I look around at the veteran officers I know, it occurs to me that many of them are not offering any training or wisdom. The Field Training Officers I know are usually five to seven year veteran officers, and I wonder, “Why them?” Why not the twelve to fifteen year Sergeant? Obviously there are good reasons for not assigning your Sergeants rookies to train. By the same token, once that rookie has been cut loose and is working on his own, he still accepts and needs guidance from his Sergeant. In that role, the Sergeant is a mentor.

I was lucky to have a couple growing up. My Uncle Don was a great mentor – and he took that responsibility seriously. I had a cousin that I considered a mentor, but as I look back now I realize that he never was. Everything he taught me was ultimately about selfish desires and how to skirt the rules. Was my Drill Sergeant a mentor? Yes and no. Was my counselor in the police academy a mentor? Absolutely yes, and he did a good job (thanks Dave!). I knew a couple other veteran officers in the early years of my career and one or two of them tried to serve as mentors, albeit not intentionally and only on an irregular basis at best.

As I look back at my past, and consider my own sons today, I realize that those our society seems to sometimes cast aside have an awful lot of knowledge and experience to offer, and quite often all they want in return is an attentive ear. Retired officers can serve as fantastic mentors. Military service veterans have learned some of life’s harshest lessons – and they are more than willing to share them if we would just listen. Often those lessons don’t strictly apply only to military life or missions. In fact, three of the best lessons I ever learned from my military experience carry over to virtually every facet of life. They are:

• Just don’t quit.
• You don’t have to like it; you just have to do it.
• Focus on the mission; ignore the distractions.

Odd that I didn’t have a mentor reinforcing those rules of living for me during my time as a Military Policeman in the regular Army. In fact, I heard those words most from my Sergeant in the Maryland Army National Guard in a Light Infantry unit – when I was past thirty years old.

What’s the point of this rambling rant? MENTOR. YOU have something to offer your children, nieces, nephews, coworkers, rookies, etc. BE MENTORED. You have something to learn from your parents, aunts, uncles, grandparents, and other officers - both those more and less experienced than you are. LEARN from them.

What do you think?