Frank Borelli
Editor-in-Chief
Officer.com
"It's not what you take when you leave this world behind you; it's what you leave behind you when you go." - Randy Travis
Call me corny but I'm a country music fan for the lessons that can be learned from many of the songs' lyrics. Since 9-11 Toby Keith has written a number of patriotic songs I really enjoy. Songs that contain small lessons about life have been put out by Montgomery Gentry, Tim McGraw, Faith Hill and others. For some reason, this music appeals to me more than the classic rock I grew up with - even though that's still fun too.
Awhile back, in a different forum, I wrote an article about integrity and the value of it. Oddly enough for me, I was at a loss to articulate exactly what I meant about defending one's integrity. A lesson I've learned in life is that the defense usually happens long before your integrity is questioned - but that's only half the battle.
None of us is perfect. I certainly am not. I'm good at some things and not so good at others. I talk a lot. I type about just as much. One of my greatest weaknesses is that there isn't much filter between my brain and my mouth (or my typing fingers). This has caught me both criticism and praise depending on what I produced and what the results were.
There is never a shortage of people ready to stand and criticize you for something you do that they don't agree with. Jesus said, "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone," but that lesson was lost somewhere. Lots of people who aren't perfect are quick to "stone" folks who aren't perfect. Is there a hypocrisy in there somewhere?
Ironically, in my own life, the things I have done wrong don't seem to garner much attention. What haunts me most are the things that I never did but have been accused of. As a police officer I always think about "the facts of the case" and whether or not enough evidence exists to prove a violation "beyond a reasonable doubt." The problem with that standard - or should I say the challenge with it - is that it's entirely subjective and everyone's level of reasonable doubt is different. Moreover, since it's just talk and nothing ever has to be proven, it's easy for folks to say negative things, giggle at the damage they may cause, take great delight in any grief they create for you (for whatever reason) and then walk away. They can make all kinds of allegations and never have to prove them - but the price paid if anyone believes them is a piece of your integrity.
But let me bring this back around... when I find myself experiencing challenging times where someone is passing along some negative statement about me and I find my blood pressure rising, those country songs I enjoy help me out. They remind me (if I listen to the right ones) that I am who I am and I can be proud of my accomplishments. They remind me that there is plenty of negativity in the world for a host of reasons but that I shouldn't let the negativity of others bring me down.
When my two oldest children went into military service I gave them three simple rules to remember and I found myself having to remember those rules lately:
- Just don't quit - no one in the world can make me quit except the guy in the mirror.
- You don't have to like it; you just have to do it - One of life's most difficult lessons to learn.
- Ignore the distractions; focus on the mission - distractions include such things as fatigue, hunger, loneliness, and people who say bad things about you, especially when they can't substantiate it in any way. Ignore the distractions; focus on the mission.
So as I sit typing on this beautiful spring morning (50 degrees and sunny here at about 8 a.m.) I enjoy listening to my country music; listening to the lessons I should heed; and ponder the blessings of my life. I think about what differences I've made in the world I live in and whether or not those changes have been overall positive or negative.
"...it's what you leave behind you when you go."
What drove me to write this blog is this question: What helps
you out when you're feeling challenged in your day to day grind?
All comments appreciated.
Stay safe!
