As I was talking with my husband about writing this particular article, I made a bet with him that this topic would probably encourage some animosity to be thrown my way. After all, I am talking about female cops, using their femininity on the streets to their advantage… Tisk, tisk. Here I am… waiting patiently for the finger wagers, the sighing disapprovers, and the easily offended people, just ready to email this outrageous article allllllll over to police departments everywhere. Typical day in the life of KP. Anyway, I digress.
I’m sure most of you have heard of that saying, “You catch more honey with flies, or vinegar with honey…” Whatever. You know what I’m saying. I admit, I am a proud “Millennial” who has only read ancient wisdom in funny memes on Instagram. But what I do know, is the same wisdom applies with cop work. Female cops can and should use this to their advantage in the field, especially when being at some disadvantage already due to our size and stature. In my 8 years of experience being a patrol cop, I’ve learned to take advantage by skillfully wielding my immensely intimidating 5’3”, 115-pound frame, like a Viking Goddess. No? Too much? Okay, fine, I thought it was funny. Anyway, I have noticed when dealing with “customers” (male suspects in particular), many times they respond more quickly and cooperate more readily with female cops who use their natural God-given features to quail confrontations (thank you Jesus).
Maybe this concept is not as foreign as most would think, and people know this stuff already. Maybe I am being overly cautious with my words while writing this for no reason. Either way, I am about to tell you the truth. Using our femininity can be highly advantageous for female cops, ultimately their male counter parts, and departments as a whole.
Intentional flirting
While waiting patiently for the distain, I decided, why not go ahead and kick this article off by throwing in a scandalous segment on how intentional flirting can also be advantageous to female cops on the streets (GASP)! “I can’t BELIEVE KP is admitting to flirting to get better results on calls!” Why… yes. Yes I am. Now, before you start trying to “Flirt Shame” me or whatever you call it, please read further about what kind of flirt game I am talking about.
We have all been on that call with the irate suspect, refusing to follow any commands, mad at the world. Then, the female cop walks on scene, causing a momentary distraction. She strolls on scene like one of those models from a Pantene Pro-V shampoo commercial, her glistening pony tail waving in the wind. Guys, let her do her thing! Female cops are some of the best talkers you’ve ever seen. If she is able to woo your angry suspect into the back of the cop car by batting her eye lashes, speaking softly, and giving this suspect a wink and a smile, why not let it happen? The end goal is to solve these calls calmly without force, if at all possible.
Another small point. I have been asked several times why I do not wear my wedding ring on the job. It is certainly not because I want to pick up any one of these stellar suspects for a date, unless Edward Norton needs to be frisked for some reason (Pick me! Just kidding, geez). I have two tactical reasons for not wearing my wedding ring. First reason- if suspects don’t know that I am married, the safer my family is. Second reason- I might need to use that lack of information in my flirting game, to accomplish the end goal of having the suspect safely stowed away in the back of the cop car and on their way to jail.
Female cops who wear make-up
Personally, I don’t wear a lot of make-up. I wear mascara and some lipstick when I go to work as a cop on patrol. Yeah, yeah, leave me alone about it. Here is the thing, you really shouldn’t judge those female cops who might wear a little make-up on duty. The confidence that some lipstick might bring to you on the street, not to mention a possible diversion for an unruly suspect who might be distracted by your plump lips through his drunken stupor, is real.
No, I am not suggesting that female cops spend a massive amount of time plastering on layers of foundation and gluing on ridiculous fake lashes. This is not a photoshoot, ladies. However, it doesn’t actually harm anyone to look and act feminine while being a cop on the street.
The back-up plan
With all of this talk about being feminine cops, wearing make-up, doing our nails and flirting away on the streets, we DO need to talk about the most important point in this article… the back-up plan. How should you proceed when your suspect is not entertained by your best phone sex voice and your favorite Cover Girl Lip Stain #538?
There are those people on the street, male and female, that will not care how awesome you are. This is where your fitness and tactics stand front and center. You should just be ready for a fight with anyone. However, in my experience, female suspects are particularly ready to fight. And no, I don’t mean the kind with pillows and giggling that you see on the internet (You know what I am talking about). When female suspects see a female cop arrive on scene, they usually act as if they had seen Lucifer himself role up heavy in a squad. Needless to say, they are not impressed with our best shampoo model impersonations. This is where your male partners can use their masculinity in a non-confrontational way. The female suspects often respond better to them. If you can, safely, try letting your male counterpart talk to the female suspect if you see she is reacting negatively to you. Let your male counterpart attempt to flirt this quarrelsome female in to cuffs. After all, the flirting game goes both ways. If all else fails, you better have the backing of your fitness, training, tactics, and confidence in your abilities to rely on.
Finally, while you are reading this, judging the crap out of me, just keep in mind there are thousands of female cops who will definitely get some benefit from this article. To those cops already doing this, keep wearing your makeup and doing your nails if that increases your confidence and makes your job as a female cop easier on the streets. To my brothers in blue, take a minute to see the wisdom in these tactics and recall our ultimate goal, to serve and protect.
