Domestic Violence

Joe is a 15 year veteran patrol officer. Well-respected and well-liked, he's been married to the love of his life for the past 12 years and they have three well-adjusted children. From the outside in, Joe's life seemed perfect. However, a series of events occurred over a span of four months that devastated Joe's world. His brother died at the age of 45 from an unexpected stroke, he was first on the scene where a close friend and coworker was killed in a gory DUI accident, and his 7 year old daughter was molested by the 14 year old neighbor boy whom his wife allowed into their home to play with their 11 year old son.

At first Joe appeared to be coping reasonably well with these three events and everyone missed the slow progression of behavior changes. Over time Joe became reserved and withdrawn. He was no longer making jokes in roll call nor laughing at anyone else's. He stopped meeting with fellow officers for mid-shift coffee break. When shift was over, he stopped lingering in the locker room to chat. When he did talk his optimism was replaced with anger and cynicism. He used to treat the public, even those he arrested, with respect. Now his attitude and words showed contempt. An unusual amount of complaints were coming in about him from the public. When Joe was approached, he became defensive stating "they are all a bunch of idiots." His words were also oddly disrespectful towards his wife, a person no one had ever heard him speak of before without admiration. Coworkers began hearing Joe call her lazy and stupid.

Over the next few months, changes continued to occur with Joe slowly at work, but more profoundly at home. He blamed his wife for their daughter being molested which began to rip at the seams of their marriage. His disrespectful words he used in public to describe his wife reflected rage and hate behind closed doors. They began developing separate lives and he moved into the guest room. His increased drinking fueled his anger as two beers a night turned into eight. Their home, once a kid-friendly hang-out, became filled with tension. No one played there anymore.

The biggest change was when Joe began a close friendship with a female dispatcher. They were often seen around town together. The affair became public one night at a shift party. Joe and the dispatcher were seen kissing and fondling each other but, as the night progressed, they both became drunk. Near the end of the night heated words were exchanged. Things were beginning to get out of hand so a sober coworker drove them both to the dispatcher's home. The driver figured Joe and the dispatcher would just head toward bed to sleep it off.

Later that night, 911 received a call from the dispatcher stating she has been punched in the face. Two units were sent, but six others showed up out of curiosity. When they arrived at the home, they were surprised to see Joe, the respected veteran, standing in his boxers holding his bruised and bloody right hand.

Joe's life had spun out of control. Unfortunately, his colleagues and supervisors watched his tailspin and no one intervened until Joe was in over his head. Paying greater attention to all that had happened to Joe, and how it was affecting him, may have helped him to avoid coming to the place he is now. How can the law enforcement community respond to help one of our own who is in crisis? We recommend a proactive, 3-tiered response.

First, learn to recognize the warning signs. Joe had many changes in behavior in response to three traumatic events. He stopped socializing with other officers, became negative in his speech, there was an increase in job related complaints, he isolated from friends & family, and started to have marriage problems. He also chose to have a very public affair with a dispatcher. Officers need to be taught to recognize warning signs and how to respond.

Second, educate officers about psychological symptoms that are expected after trauma. No one warned Joe of the symptoms of Post Traumatic Stress or depression that would begin weeks after an event. Nightmares, anger, sleeplessness, agitation, irritability, sadness, loss of hope, low self-esteem, decreased appetite, and desire to turn to alcohol to self-medicate are normal and not something to fear or be ashamed of. Awareness of these symptoms may have helped Joe to control them. Departments do not ignore trauma out of malice but because law enforcement, by the nature of the job, is not very sensitive to it when it happens. First responders are trained and expected to go from one critical incident to the next. We become desensitized to how this affects us.

Third, put procedures in place for officers to safely and confidentially report behavior or psychological changes in themselves or coworkers. The first step in the procedure is for the officer affected to seek out a peer they trust or if they do not want to confide in a coworker to seek out professional counseling. Being able to talk with someone will help the officer at risk to reframe and normalize their thought patterns and behaviors. If that officer does not find relief in three to six conversations with a peer or professional, the second step is to talk with any line supervisor they trust to develop a work plan that reduces immediate stress. If the officer does not find relief in two weeks, the third in the procedure is to access time off through FMLA or vacation. If a coworker notices changes in a peer, educate them on how to first approach the officer at risk and when to come to a supervisor.

Developing proactive responses for officers impacted by critical incidents, or to officers showing signs of burnout or stress due to an accumulation of events are recommended as a best practice not only for the sake of a department's personnel but also for the department. Having a plan in place to respond to the officer-in-crisis can not only save an individual career but can reduce the residual impact on the officer's coworkers, supervisors, and employer.