Men, if you want good sex then give good communication. For women, talking is more important than sex for this is where intimacy is achieved. When a couple has been together for awhile, and especially if they have developed a family together, communication becomes more like a business meeting than it does an actual conversation. Couples focus on what needs to get done around the house, errands that have been neglected, and how the kids are going to get to karate practice. The conversations begin to feel negative, dull, and unimaginative. When couples first date they are intentional about getting to know the other person by sharing dreams, goals, and hopes for the future. They also spend time sharing their days and asking questions that show interest in one another. As couples build a life together and their lives are filled with responsibilities, the fun communication gets lost. Men, if you want a better sex life, spend time getting to know her again by asking questions about her day, hopes, and dreams. Give her positive feedback and refrain from anything that triggers tension. Good communication for women is an aphrodisiac.
Women, if you feel your husband is not responsive to your needs in the bedroom, start evaluating if you nag too much. Men feel criticized by nagging, which is internalized as rejection, and will cause them to retreat and isolate. Is what you feel compelled to nag about all that important? If it is, then it is time to sit down and have a serious talk about it. If not, it may be time to just let it go.
Men, be careful not to be critical or demoralizing. Use words and actions that build your partner's self-esteem and make her feel valued and loved. Remember, foreplay for your partner starts when you are not even aware of it!
And if you are a police officer, regardless of whether you are a man or woman, do not take the job into the bedroom (unless it is some sort of mutually agreed upon fantasy-role-playing thing). On the job you need to be assertive, tough, no-nonsense, and often confrontational. These are crucial attributes for the street but, if you practice them at home, they can cause serious problems in your relationships and in the bedroom.
It is well known that a career in law enforcement can have detrimental effects on relationships and intimacy. By paying heed to the above points, you can increase the level of intimacy and the quality of your sex life.