Several years ago, while watching Erin Brockovich in a theatre, we overheard the following conversation behind us:
Wife: My God, Julia Roberts is just sooooo gorgeous!
Wife's friend: Uhh huh! She is. So thin, and I wish I had her teeth and mouth.
Wife: Oh, we're just saying. Julia Roberts is so beautiful!
Husband: No. Not really.
Wife’s friend: What??!? Get out! You are kidding, right?
Husband: No. She does nothing for me. A lot of guys think she is kinda... funny looking.
Wife: Shut... Up!! She is beautiful! Tall, and thin, and just look at that smile!
Husband: Oh, she IS a great actress. One of the best, even. But good looking? Nah...
Wife: Come on! She is the fantasy of every man alive!
Husband: Nope. Not mine. And good thing you don't look a thing like her or I never woulda married you! (sound of slapping) Hey, stop it; I just gave you a compliment!
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and, if he beheld you and asked you out, and then asked you out again and again, and now you are in a committed long-term relationship, then I guess you just might be his fantasy.
Appearance is just one of the comparison points some women use, but no matter what yours might be, use it for personal goal-setting purposes only, and only if realistic. Your man may be quite pleased with the woman you already are.
So carry yourself with confidence. Confidence is sexy.
A man wants the woman in his life to respect him
Men crave approval from their women; we want to know you admire us and are proud of who we are and what we do.
Althea often tells me she is proud of me, of my job, of how I do it, and to be married to me. That means more to me than any supervisory commendation or letter of appreciation from a citizen. Those come and go, but having the approval of my wife has lasting impact.
A man wants great sex from the woman in his life
I bet you had no idea I would be revealing such groundbreaking secrets! Stick with me, however, and notice I said great sex.
There is no secret move or position or trick or toy I can tell you about that transforms run-of-the-mill sex into earth-shattering sex. There may be, but there are plenty of books out there you can explore yourselves - and we encourage you to - as well as the whole information superhighway where, rumor has it, there are plenty information side streets running through vast digital information Red Light Districts. Just saying...
What I want to offer are the following points:
First, it is important to recognize that, for women, feeling loved and safe in her relationship leads to desire and sexual expression of love. For men, however, the order is reversed. Receiving sex from his woman leads to feeling loved.
Second, research has shown the sex lives of most couples, over time, tend to fall into predictable patterns of timing and behavior. Couples develop a limited repertoire and then stick with what they know, although both partners often express a wish for greater variety and experimentation.
Third, take the initiative (and risk?) to try something new, do something differently, or to break out of old patterns will probably surprise and delight your man. Be creative, be assertive, and be confident. Remember, confidence is sexy!
These are guidelines to follow; how you put them into practice is up to you, and limited only by your imagination. Have fun with your relationship, commit to taking care of each other, and always stay face-to-face and talking.